Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label expectations. Show all posts

Monday, December 28, 2015

Be Free to Disappoint People ROSILIND JUKIC Charisma Magazine/Spiritled Woman

Pleasing people at the cost of pleasing God is stressful.

Pleasing people at the cost of pleasing God is stressful. (Charisma archives)



Spirit-Led Woman

12/25/2015 ROSILIND JUKIC Charisma Magazine Spiritled Woman

Pleasing people at the cost of pleasing God is stressful. (Charisma archives)

I knew I had some really tough choices to make.
My plate wasn't just full, it was overflowing. It was cracking under the sheer volume of stuff I'd continued to pile on top of it.
I was a hoarder; a chronic "yes" sayer.
It wasn't so much that I wasn't in tune with how much I could do, it was more of a fear that I'd disappoint someone by saying no, or I'd let them down.
I am, by nature, a pleaser. If you want to utterly break my heart, just say these words, "I am disappointed in you." I almost will never get over hearing that.
I can't stand to disappoint!
And yet, I knew that something had to give.
Either I would disappoint someone now by letting go of the majority of the responsibilities I was carrying, or I'd disappoint everyone when I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't do anything at all.
It had truly come down to that!
My sanity now or my health later on.
It was a tipping point.
I sat down and made a list of every single responsibility I had in my life: from being a wife and mom to being a blogger and Bible study leader, to being a volunteer at my local church ... I listed it all.
Then I took some time to reflect on what I felt the Lord had called my family to do. Not just me — yes, that was included — but my family.
Where are we going?
What's our mission?
What's our goal as a family?
We plan our summer vacations better than we plan our families.
When we go on a summer vacation, we mark our route, we plan our hotels and meals, we plan our stops to sight see and our destination.
But what about our family's journey?
What is your destination? Where do you want to be as a family when your children are grown? What are you doing to get there? Are the choices you are making now helping you reach that destination, or are you just driving aimlessly down an unknown street hoping you will somehow arrive at your destination by pure chance?
Once I had a clear vision for our destination, I looked at my list of responsibilities and asked myself this question about each one: "Does this responsibility actively help me reach that destination or is it dead weight?"
If it was dead weight, it had to go.
But before I let it go, I had to do this one thing.
I had to give myself permission to disappoint myself and others.
In an attempt to please everyone around me, my plate was overflowing with other people's visions and other people's destinations. But where was mine?
Lost and forgotten down at the very bottom of the pile!
In essence, I was willing to disappoint God to please others.
"For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10, NKJV).
There are two kinds of expectations we meet in life:
Expectations of ourselves. If you are type-A, you likely have very high or impossible expectations of yourself. When you set a goal, you set it higher for yourself than you would ever set it for anyone else. We have to succeed ... every time. No failure. And we have to succeed better than anyone ever succeeded.
This is a trap. It keeps us in a constant state of stress because of our zero-tolerance policy for ourselves.
When it comes to letting go of extra responsibilities, we often have to give ourselves permission to "fail" at pleasing others first. This is a very freeing activity. Once you realize that you are simply incapable of succeeding every time, you are free! You are free to disappoint others. You are free to walk away and not allow that disappointment to eat at you for days and weeks.

Does it bother you a little that someone was disappointed? Yes, and it should. We can't walk through life calloused; but by bothering us, it doesn't have to eat at us.
Expectations from others. It is natural that people have expectations of others. There are those who have a vision to fulfill a certain task and then there are those whose mission in life is to help others fulfill that task. These helpers derive incredible joy from doing what they do to help others. Their vision is similar and they have the capability to help others succeed.
The problem is when we don't have the same mission or vision as the one who has placed an expectation on us. We don't necessarily have the capability to help them reach their desired destination and we don't derive any joy from helping them reach their goal. But we take on the task because we feel pressure.
Not only is their expectation dead weight on us, we're dead weight on them, too. We are unsatisfied in doing a task we were never meant to do, and they are frustrated because we lack the capability and drive to do what is expected of us.
The kindest thing we can do is to free ourselves to do what we've been called to do and free them to find the one who has been called to fill the role that will help them reach their goal!
When we look at expectations from this perspective, we realize that we're not really disappointing someone by saying no to them, we're freeing them to find the one who will serve them best!
We're free to give our best yes to the task that God called us to, and they're free to find the one whose best yes is meant for them!
This truth has set me free!
And as we are closing the chapter on 2015, I am amazed at what a difference one year can make. Only 365 days ago I sat here with clenched teeth, tensed shoulders, pulsating veins and giant cup of coffee to make it through my day.
Now I sit here with my feet up, a smile on my face, a heart at peace as I am satisfied because I am right where God wants me to be.
I am still serving others, but in the very role God cut out for me!
Where do you want to be on December 31, 2016?
What steps do you need to take to get there?
Rosilind Jukica Pacific Northwest native, is a missionary living in Croatia and married to her Bosnian hero. Together they live with their two active boys where she enjoys fruity candles, good coffee and a hot cup of herbal tea on a blustery fall evening. Her passion for writing led her to author her best-selling book The Missional Handbook. At A Little R & R she encourages women to find contentment in what God created them to be. You can also find her at Missional Call where she shares her passion for local and global missions. She can also be found at on a regular basis. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google +. 
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LOVE FOR HIS PEOPLE FEATURED BOOK

In 2010 the Lord God of Israel, my Savior Jesus Christ (Yeshua HaMashiach), led me to start the ministry we call Love For His People. Its primary purpose is to share the love of the Lord with the nation of Israel, Jews around the world, and the people in all the nations as we can. 

For that end, through social media, writing and distributing books, and in person ministry, we are seeing the love of Jesus spread. We are grateful that He has given us much love in order to do just that. We often hear the word “love” spoken out loud, and written about, in many ways. It has contrasting meanings to the wide range of people that exist, as it is expressed in different methods through people. 

When it has all been said and done, there is an eternal love that will stand the test of fire. Because the biblical expression of love, laying down one’s life for his friends, has eternal value, this love from God the Father to His creation is the type that I most seek after and try to share. 

In these short chapters of Arms of Love, which is also the title of a song Laurie and I sang while leading various church worship meetings, and as the lead singers in our Ahava Love Band, I share some aspects of how I believe the Bible speaks of love. For you who are about to read this, my prayer is that your heart will be enlarged with His, and you too will become one, even more, to give love for His people, both Jew and Gentile, both saved and unsaved. 

I hope that as you read these chapters, you will become more inspired to spend time with the Lord, experience His heart of love, and share it with our fellow man. The world needs to know the love of God. 

Steve Martin 
Love For His People
Charlotte, NC 
Dec. 2015


Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Expectations - Now Think On This by Steve Martin


Expectations
- Now Think On This
by Steve Martin


“Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory.” Col. 3:2-4 NASU


Expectations come and go, rise and fall, and can be fulfilled or left hanging as we press forward. We experience different levels of expectations during our lifetime, as we seek to know the will of our Father, Who knows all and desires to see us walk in His way. Along that way, each of us will be given the opportunity to learn to trust in Him, expecting His promises and purposes to come about as He has said. Often that trust and faith in Him is tested, even as disappointments and setbacks occur.

In times past I have been told that my expectations were too high, that I need not hope as much as I did. Most often it was because I was looking at people to bring about a certain fulfillment in my dreams, rather than the Lord Himself. There had been opportunities to experience something different and new, but when circumstances or the people I looked to did not bring about the expected result I was hoping for, I had to guard my heart from disappointment and press hard into the Father’s heart for an answer. At times it was not easy. At times it seemed that I had gone as far as I would or could go, and really didn’t want to believe again for a better result. The temptation was to settle for things as they were, and be content with that. But we all know that that doesn’t bring fulfillment, does it?

After spending another time slowly re-reading the biblical story of Joseph and his expectations, and the resulting situations, I once again became encouraged to trust that the Lord does redeem our times and seasons. It is though in His time. Those pits and prisons are real. But also the release and triumph can be just as real. It becomes a matter of time for His plan to become reality for us.

As we hear or read of others who have gone before with their life stories, we realize that they too had to overcome the disappointments, the failures of oneself and others, the unfulfilled expectations that they had placed their hope in. They had to daily press on, to push forward, to contend for the prize set before them, in order to gain the higher ground. It was a battle, in an even great spiritual war.

In Isaiah 40:30-31 the Word says, “Young men may grow tired and weary, even the fittest may stumble and fall; but those who hope in Adonai will renew their strength, they will soar aloft as with eagles’ wings; when they are running they won’t grow weary, when they are walking they won’t get tired.” Complete Jewish Bible

Whether young or old, we must keep our hope in Adonai, our Savior, in order to renew our strength. When anticipated expectations do not come about as we had hoped, once again we must stand on the foundation He has laid. Once again we must experience His renewal, His uplifting of our wings, as we run the race set before us. Though we will become weary and tired, He will not fail us in our journey.

Now think on this,

Steve Martin
Love For His People. Inc.

Love For His People, Inc. is a charitable, not-for-profit USA humanitarian organization started in 2010 to share the love of the Father in the nations.


 If these messages minister to you, please consider sending a charitable gift of $5-$25 today, and maybe each month, to help us bless families we know in Israel, whom we consistently help through our humanitarian ministry. Your tax deductible contributions receive a receipt for each donation. Fed. ID #27-1633858.

Go here for safe ONLINE GIFT GIVING THROUGH OUR WEBSITE using major credit cards: Love For His People. If you don't have a PayPal account you can also use your credit card or bank account (where available). 

Contribution checks can be sent to: 
Love For His People, Inc.  P.O. Box414   Pineville, NC 28134
Todah rabah! (Hebrew – Thank you very much.)

Please share Now Think On This with your friends.

Email: loveforhispeople@gmail.com  
martinlighthouse@gmail.com

Facebook pages: Steve Martin and  Love For His People  
Twitter: martinlighthous, LovingHisPeople 

Full website: Love For His People

Now Think On This #164 - “Expectations” by Steve Martin 
Date: In the year of our Lord 2014 (11.11.14) Tuesday at 8:30 am in Charlotte, NC


All previous editions of Now Think On This can be found on this Blog, and on our newest website: Now Think On This

Saturday, November 23, 2013

"“Expectations & Hope” - Ahava Love Letter (Steve Martin)

                  
       “Expectations & Hope” 

 “It all accords with my earnest expectation and hope that I will have nothing to be ashamed of; but rather, now, as always, the Messiah will be honored by my body, whether it is alive or dead. For to me, life is the Messiah…” (Phil. 1:20-21, CJB Complete Jewish Bible)


Dear family of friends,

On the early morning during my time with the Lord, on my 59th birthday Nov. 23, 2013, I was again thinking of the enormous thanksgiving that was welling up in my heart the past few days. It was the same sense I get when the Lord is wanting to use me to express a prophetic word - that moment when my heart beats faster, my stomach starts to whirl, and I know His Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh (Hebrew) is moving. Usually I just get a word or two, and know He wants me to step out in faith, trusting He will give me more as I obey His prompting.

It is when He says to my spirit, “Speak, for I am giving you something to say right now.” Or in this case, to write now.

This time He again just gave me two words - expectations and hope. And so I started to write this Ahava Love Letter, believing more would come as I wrote.

Expectations can really give us hope, for something exciting to happen, or believing a turn is coming in the road ahead that will bring a better situation in our life. Expectations can last a day, or even a lifetime. They can give us something good to look forward to, as we walk through the daily life we have.

Or they can result in a crash when the event or desire we are seeking to bring fulfillment doesn’t come about as we had hoped. That particular thing we were looking to falls below our anticipated expectation, and disappointment results. By God’s grace we can get over it quickly and move on. Other times it will cripple us and wound our spirit more than we even realize, even for the long term.

You and I both know that there have been many times when we were expecting someone to do something on our behalf, or a big event was to occur, but the end result was far short of what we had thought it would be. We had “high hopes”, but then felt the sting of another “it happened again as I really thought it would” which we had secretly considered.

I can look back at previous expectations and hopes, and believe I have learned a thing or two to share with you. When I stop and think about what my hope and expectation was founded on, there is indeed a lesson taught. I realized that when my hope was on something temporary, or in someone who really didn’t have the capacity to fulfill it, the glitter and glory was just a shadow. We experienced the failure, because the capacity to fulfill the hope wasn’t there to begin with. When that which we hope in is less then what it could be, then disappointment always happens.

By this time you may know where I am going with this.

It is great to dream, to expect, to hope for a better future. We are meant to be that type of people, who look forward to a better tomorrow. That is something the Lord puts in our hearts, to help in our motivations, to keep us pushing forward, to reach the mark set before us by our Father.

I have come to the point now that I regularly declare, “My times are in Your hands.” (Psalm 31:15) Putting my trust in His purposes and plans has given me a strong foundation on which to place my expectations and hopes. He is strong. He is able. He is the One who will never fail us or lack in His ability to fulfill His promises. Because He is God, and because only He can.

Days are ahead, and actually here now, when our need to depend on Him for all things will greatly be tested. If our hopes and expectations are put on that which can and will crumble, our faith will fail us and we will lose our way. IF we keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Yeshua), the Author and Finisher of our faith, we will be able to stand, have our hopes fulfilled, and see desired expectations completed.

My trust is in Him. I hope yours is today also, and grows stronger in each forth coming day.

Ahava to my family of friends,

Steve Martin
Founder
Love For His People

Love For His People, Inc. is a charitable, not-for-profit USA organization. Fed. ID#27-1633858.

Please consider sending a charitable gift of $5-$25 today, and maybe each month, to help us bless the known families in Israel, whom we consistently help through our humanitarian ministry. 

Your tax deductible contributions receive a receipt for each donation.

Go here for safe ONLINE GIFT GIVING THROUGH  OUR WEBSITE using major credit cards: Love For His People

If you don't have a PayPal account you can also use your credit card or bank account (where available). 

Contribution checks can be sent to: 
Love For His People, Inc.  P.O. Box 414   Pineville, NC 28134
Todah rabah! (Hebrew - Thank you very much.)
Be sure to get my two books The Promise (CreateSpace/Amazon 2013) and Ahava Love Letters (Xulon Press, 2013). Both available through Amazon.com Xulon Press.com , plus other website book stores.
You can also order both books, The Promise (on Amazon.com for $7.19 plus $3.95 S/H) and Ahava Love Letters Xulon Press for $14.90, plus $3.80) or you can get both from our office for $29. Send check to the address above. I will autograph all copies ordered through our office. (Hey, and please include a contribution for Israel too!)
Please share this Ahava Love Letter with your friends.

E-mail: loveforhispeople@gmail.com  martinlighthouse@gmail.com

Facebook pages: Steve Martin  and  Love For His People  
  
Twitter: martinlighthous, LovingHisPeople and ahavaloveletter 

            Ahava Love Letters
           
  
Full website: Love For His People


Ahava Love Letter #88   “Expectations & Hope”  ©2013 Steve Martin 
Date: In the year of our Lord 2013 (11/23/13 Saturday at 7:30 am in Charlotte, NC). The day of my 59th birthday!!!

All previous editions of Ahava Love Letter can be found on this Blog, and our newest website: Ahava Love Letters