When I was 14 years old, my friends were going on a ski trip, but I was unable to join them. The upcoming trip was the main topic of conversation for weeks before they departed. I was terribly sad when they left, knowing they were making memories I'd never be a part of. There was that sick feeling in my stomach that happens to me when I am missing out on something. Oh, how I wanted that feeling to fly away as quickly as possible. When my friends returned, the same thing happened as before they left. They reminisced about all the fun times—and reminisced and reminisced.An idea came: I picked a date and circled it on a calendar hanging next to my bed. Until that date arrived, I'd allow myself to feel the sadness and pain. Once the circled date came, I would move pass those feelings. There was no science or method to choosing the particular date. I prayed and then selected a date on the calendar that felt right. Instead of masking the pain, I gave myself the freedom to fully feel the sadness during that time. Like many people, I often try to suppress the sadness I feel. We try to make the hurt go away by rushing through the healing process. Shoving the emotions down so they won't surface is common among the best of people.
The experience of missing "a trip of a lifetime" with my friends was simply learning ground, a preparation for significantly more difficult experiences facing me later in my life. I might have lost the fun of skiing and fellowship, but I gained much more than I lost. Ahead were to come:
- Three painful miscarriages
- Heavy empathetic emotions watching my beloved Terry go through emotional and physical pain during a battle with cancer at age 21.
- The loss of my dad (my best friend) to pancreatic cancer right after I got married.
read more 
