Showing posts with label J. Lee Grady. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Please Stop Demonizing Christmas - J. LEE GRADY CHARISMA NEWS

Please Stop Demonizing Christmas

During a recent trip to El Salvador, a pastor and I were talking about how much we both love Christmas music. We shared some of the songs on our personal playlists, and then he told me that his wife is especially fond of songs like "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" and "Let It Snow" because the church she grew up in discouraged members from celebrating Christmas or hanging any type of holiday decorations.

Her story reminded me that several Charisma readers jumped on me a few years ago after I wrote a column about Christmas. They were angry because they consider Christmas a pagan holiday that is luring gift-giving revelers into hell itself. One person who identified himself as "Albert" wrote in our online forum that he "isn't comfortable celebrating Christmas" because of its "demonic origins."

You probably know there are many Christians who boycott Christmas for various reasons—some factual and some quite debatable. These people insist:

The holiday has become too commercialized and promotes greed. (I can't really argue with that.)
No one knows when Jesus was born. (True—and the Bible is silent about the date.) However, "Albert" and other anti-Christmas purists insist Jesus was born on Sept. 11, in 3 B.C., during Rosh Hoshana.
The Dec. 25 date was chosen to "Christianize" the pagan celebration of Saturnalia, an ancient winter solstice festival. (Probably true—but is there anything wrong with Christianizing something? I'm glad a pagan celebration was replaced.)
Christmas trees are a pagan tradition, since druids believed evergreen boughs were magical and had the power to scare away demons. ("Thursday" is also named for the Norse god Thor, but that doesn't mean I worship him when I use the word.)
Dec. 25 is the birthday of Nimrod, who later became known as the pagan god Baal, who later became known as Nicolas, who later became known as Santa Claus. For this reason, we can be sure that demons lurk behind all wreaths, candles, ornaments, fruitcakes, sleighs or anyone dressed in red and green.
"Santa" is just a jumbled misspelling of "Satan"! (Seriously?)

In all fairness to these Christmas critics, I will admit I never encouraged my children to believe in Santa Claus. This was not because I was afraid he was Baal, Nimrod or an ancient Turkish bishop in disguise, but because 1) I felt I would be lying to my kids if I told them Santa brought them gifts; 2) I hate standing in lines at department stores; and 3) the prospect of inviting a strange old man into my house so he can "check" on my sleeping daughters is downright creepy.

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But I unashamedly love Christmas. I love the trees, the ornaments, the lights, the smells, the eggnog, the music, the gifts and the family and friends who share the celebration with me. All the decorations point me to Jesus—from the bells on the front porch to the angel on top of the tree to the plastic manger scene that shows some wear (mainly because our dachshund, Flapjack, chewed a shepherd's head off in 1996.)

For me, Christmas is a wondrous time of year when I ponder the miracle of Christ's birth and, hopefully, get lots of chances to share his generous love with people who are less fortunate than I am.

People have been fighting about Christmas for a long time. Christmas gift-giving was condemned by the Catholic Church during the Middle Ages because of the "pagan origins" of the holiday. Then, anti-Catholic Puritans declared war on Christmas in England and banned it from 1647 to 1660, calling it "a popish festival with no justification." In the United States, Puritans outlawed Christmas in Massachusetts from 1659 to 1681, and it was an unpopular holiday after the Revolutionary War because Americans associated it with England.

Christmas became a federal holiday in 1870. Yet today, in spite of the fact that Christmas has morphed into a meaningless mush of secularized snowflakes, reindeer, penguins, gift cards and year-end sales, the Scrooges of our day want to suck all the remaining Christian spirituality out of it.

I expect atheists to hate Christmas. I know they will try to ban nativity scenes from public parks or remove Christmas carols from classrooms. But it is downright tragic when Christians—who should welcome every opportunity to bring the miracle of Jesus' incarnation into public life—start bah-humbugging (or even demonizing) the holiday.

Keep Christmas in your own way, by all means. If it's offensive to you to hang mistletoe from your mantle or to send a Christmas card to friends, then don't. I won't judge you for that. But please don't judge other believers simply because they want to celebrate all that is pure and decent and meaningful this special time of year.

P.S. Merry Christmas!

J. Lee Grady was editor of Charisma for 11 years before he launched into full-time ministry in 2010. Today he directs The Mordecai Project, a Christian charitable organization that is taking the healing of Jesus to women and girls who suffer abuse and cultural oppression. Author of several books including 10 Lies the Church Tells Women, he has just released his newest book, Set My Heart on Fire, from Charisma House. You can follow him on Twitter at @LeeGrady or go to his website, themordecaiproject.org.

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Monday, November 26, 2018

How a Trip to the Holy Land Changed My Life - J. LEE GRADY CHARISMA MAGAZINE

How a Trip to the Holy Land Changed My Life

I traveled to Israel more than 20 years ago. But this month, my wife and I took a 13-day trip there with a group of American friends. I'd already seen the typical tourist sites in Jerusalem, and honestly, I was not looking forward to standing in long lines to see Jesus' tomb. (Sometimes the Holy Land can feel like a religious version of Disney World—especially on crowded days.)

A friend of mine from Puerto Rico says that once you visit the Holy Land, the Bible "goes from black and white to color." That is exactly what happened to me—from the moment I watched a group of fishermen clean their nets on their boat on the Sea of Galilee. It feels like I got a new pair of glasses. When I read the Bible now, certain words jump off the page that I never noticed.

Our trip took us from Haifa in the northwest to the Dead Sea in the east. Not only did we tour some of the more popular destinations like Capernaum, Nazareth and the Garden of Gethsemane in Jerusalem, but we also stopped at Elijah's Cave in Haifa, Mount Gerizim in Samaria and Elisha's Spring in Jericho—the place where the prophet healed the poisonous waters. We even explored the ruins of Magdala, believed to be the birthplace of Mary Magdalene.

I came back from this trip wishing I could return—and hoping that my friends can make a similar pilgrimage. I guarantee a visit to the Holy Land is worth the investment, but I would recommend the following:

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1. Make sure you have a skilled guide. Tourism is a huge industry in Israel. In October of this year, Israel reported its largest number of tourists ever. That means there are some people giving tours who may be doing it for the wrong reasons. I strongly recommend you arrange for a guide who is a committed Christian. Our guide grew up in the land and is a Spirit-filled believer. He knows the Bible, history and geography.

2. Read the gospels while you are there. Many scholars say the Holy Land is "the fifth gospel"—which means the land itself is a witness of Christ. I decided to read the Gospel of Matthew while I was there. Even though I have always believed the words of Scripture are true, they became even more inspired for me when I saw the hillside where Jesus fed the multitude, and I visited the ruins of the house where Jesus healed Peter's mother-in-law.

3. Connect with the "living stones," not just the old ruins. My trip to Israel was actually not just for tourism. We were able to connect with Christians in the land—on both sides of the current political conflict. One of my favorite moments was worshipping with both Israeli and Arab believers who have found common ground in their love for Jesus. Even though the church is small in the Holy Land, and struggling, God is moving powerfully among His people. If you go, do everything you can to encourage and strengthen the body of Christ while you are there.

4. Try to avoid the crowds. Our tour guide did a masterful job of taking us to places that are off the beaten path. We hiked near the Sea of Galilee and sat on rocks near where Jesus preached the Sermon on the Mount. When we went to Bethlehem, we spent most of our time in Beit Sahour, "the place of the sleepless," where the shepherds learned that Jesus had been born. Everyone visits the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem, but when we went to Caesarea, on the Mediterranean coast, we almost had the place to ourselves. That's the site where Peter prayed for a group of Gentiles to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

5. Don't avoid the Palestinian areas. My favorite part of this trip was visiting places that are considered off-limits by many tourists. Christian pilgrims often avoid the Palestinian areas because of fear or prejudice. But what they don't realize is that Arab Christians actually are a key to the spiritual awakening in this land.

For centuries, Palestinian believers have preserved the Christian sites in modern Israel—and many biblical sites are located in the Palestinian territories. These include Bethlehem; the ruins of Jericho; the Judean wilderness where Jesus was tempted; the site of Jesus' baptism; and the ancient city of Sychar, in modern Nablus—where the Samaritan woman talked with Jesus at Jacob's well. That place alone was worth the price of my trip!

I met some wonderful Palestinian believers during my visit. They love Jesus but they feel forgotten by American Christians. They also speak Arabic, which means they have a greater chance of sharing the gospel with Muslims than anyone else in Israel. They need our prayers, our love and our support. Don't ignore them when you visit their homeland.

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Thursday, November 15, 2018

How to React When the Church Fails You - J. LEE GRADY CHARISMA NEWS

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During the 1980s I was part of a vibrant Christian ministry that focused on reaching university students. The people involved were passionate for Jesus, excited about evangelism and eager to send missionaries to the world. There is no question that we were a revival movement. But flawed human beings were involved—and because most of us were under 30 we had no idea what we were doing!

We were idealistic, untrained and horribly naive. As a result, many mistakes were made. Scripture was misused. Judgments were hurled. People got hurt. Marriages fell apart. Churches closed. And some people never got over the fact that Christians did mean things to each other.

Everywhere I go, I meet Christians who were hurt in church or wounded by the words and actions of leaders. Some of these people are bitter. Others have given up on church. Some have even left the faith. And a few suffer from the spiritual equivalent of post-traumatic stress disorder. If you or someone you love has been hurt in church, I recommend taking these steps:

1. Forgive from your heart. The first step is always forgiveness. Don't fall into the trap of justifying your right to be offended. You may be tempted to scream: "But you don't understand what they did to me!" God understands—but He requires you to let go of the hurt. The Word is clear: "Even as Christ forgave you, so you must do" (Col. 3:13b).

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2. Learn from the other person's mistakes. I have mentors who taught me much about God, leadership and ministry. But I also have learned a lot from watching the mistakes leaders make. If someone in ministry hurts you, make a mental note: "That is not the way I want to treat people." You can actually turn your disappointments into blessings if you learn from them.

3. Remain humble. Pride thrives in bitter soil. If you allow anger or resentment to lodge in your heart, it won't be long before your character is completely poisoned. Your desire to prove your point will inflate your ego—and God will resist you. Paul told the Galatians: "For if someone thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself" (Gal. 6:3). Don't let someone else's mistake turn you into a monster.

4. Try to make peace. Never let an offense destroy a relationship. It's childish just to walk away. Does the leader know how he or she hurt you? Make an appointment and share your heart. Give the other person a chance to apologize or give an explanation. Our tendency is always to magnify the other person's mistakes while we excuse our own behavior. It's never wise to break a relationship without making every effort at reconciliation. If you feel you can't talk to the person because of intimidation, write a letter and explain the situation.

5. Stay in fellowship. The devil is a wolf—he isolates his victims before he attacks. Many people who are hurt by leaders leave church altogether. It's OK to take a short break to recover. But if you go two months, then six months, then a year without being in close fellowship with other Christians, you are making yourself vulnerable. You may be tempted to believe that there are no healthy pastors or churches in your area—but I dare you to disprove that.

6. Get godly counsel. It is never wise to walk through a relationship breakup without getting an outside perspective. You may think you are the victim—until a friend points out your own blind spots. Share what happened with trusted, spiritually mature people and ask them how you should respond. If what a leader did to you was criminal (like sexual abuse or financial exploitation), you may have to consult a lawyer. But in most cases, you will simply need to forgive and renounce any desire for revenge. Practice Romans 12:17a: "Repay no one evil for evil."

7. Break free from manipulation. Sometimes immature leaders make harsh judgments against church members. Other leaders use their authority to punish what they perceive as disloyalty—and the person feels cursed. Inappropriate words like this have the power to maim people spiritually. If this has happened to you, ask a pastor or mature friend to pray for you and break the power of these words so you can be healed.

8. Move on. I've met Christians who still nurse the same grudges after 30 years. They keep their pain alive by reliving the offense over and over. As a result. they are stuck in a time warp, and no one wants to be around them because their sarcasm is so toxic. You must let go. Say what Jesus said on the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34).

Don't let disappointment in others lock you in an unhappy past when God has a joyful future for you. Leave your offenses at the cross, and don't let anyone's mistakes prevent you from being a part of a healthy church.

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Thursday, September 27, 2018

Let's Be Honest—Christian Women Have Been Hurt in Church - J. LEE GRADY CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Let's Be Honest—Christian Women Have Been Hurt in Church

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Comedian Bill Cosby wasn't laughing yesterday when he was led out of a Pennsylvania courtroom in handcuffs. He was sentenced to prison for drugging and sexually assaulting a woman 14 years ago. The judge in the case labeled Cosby "a sexually violent predator"—a statement that brought tears of relief to dozens of Cosby's other alleged victims.

Welcome to the uncomfortable #MeToo era. Ever since Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein was accused almost a year ago of forcing actresses to trade sex for acting jobs, sexual harassment has become the dominant headline in America. Everyone is staring at this elephant in the room—especially women, who once were too afraid to talk about it.

Yet I have found that we really aren't talking enough in the church about the obvious tension between the genders. Christian women are deeply wounded—not just because of sexual abuse but also because of blatant gender prejudice and insensitive comments from their brothers in Christ.

I decided to do an informal poll on social media yesterday. I asked my female friends on Facebook and Twitter to share what they considered the rudest comments or behavior they had endured from men in a church setting. Reading their answers (some were posted publicly, and many privately) was overwhelming. I divided their responses into categories:

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1. Blatant sexual abuse. Many of the women I polled were victims of abuse that happened on church property. One woman from Alabama said she was groped and fondled by a church leader when she was a teenager—and she never went back to church until she gave her heart to Christ at age 30. Another woman was raped in the church parking lot, and no one on the church staff intervened or offered pastoral care.

2. Come-ons and inappropriate touching. Numerous women I contacted experienced this. One said that two married men reached over and kissed her, but she refused their unwanted advances. Another woman said a pastor looked down her shirt while standing over her. A female missionary said she was terrified after an ordained minister groped and fondled her. Several women said they felt uncomfortable when men from the church ogled them, stalked them, made sexual comments or tried to hug them too closely.

3. Bizarre gender bias. A woman was counseled by a man in her church that she should not have an epidural during childbirth "because pain is part of a woman's punishment for sin." Another woman was told that she was in sinful violation of 1 Timothy 2:15 if she did not immediately start having babies regularly after getting married.

4. Demands for "submission." One woman from Texas was told by a pastor that she must stay in her marriage regardless of her husband's physical and verbal violence. "I stayed in a very abusive marriage for 20 years," she said. By the time she did divorce, her children had grown up. "Unfortunately, the abuse had ruined their chances of a healthy home life by that time," she added.

5. Insensitivity to single women. Several single women told me they were shamed publicly by men in the church with comments like "Why aren't you married yet?" or "What's wrong with you? Why are you still single?"

6. Comments implying that women are always to blame for sexual sin. One woman from Georgia needed a ride to the airport during a Christian conference, and she asked a male minister for help. He refused because he said he was not allowed to be in a car alone with another woman. "This wasn't harassment, but it was sexist in that I am a sister in Christ, a fellow minister," she said. Other women recalled being told in church that the reason men struggle with pornography is because women don't dress modestly. "I grew up feeling that I was to blame for men's porn addiction," one woman said.

7. Blatant condescension. A 30-year-old ordained woman from Georgia said she encounters subtle sexism when male ministers call her a "girl" after she preaches. "Men who are my age are not spoken to that way. They are treated as peers," she said. "Some people may not think twice about, and I know it's never meant in a bad way, but I feel it reveals how some people view a 30-something woman in ministry vs. how they view a 30-something man in ministry." Other women said they felt invisible because church leaders regularly referred to them as "John's wife" or "Bill's wife" rather than by their own first name.

8. Refusal to affirm a woman's spiritual gifts or callings. The majority of responses to my question related to this topic. Women have been told they should never preach or lead in the church, and some who did step out in their leadership gifts were called "Jezebel" or worse. Others were installed in pastoral roles but not allowed to use the title "pastor." Others were told that the only time God uses women in leadership "is when a man refuses to step into his rightful place." (Almost all women called to full-time ministry shared stories of an uphill battle.)

I don't believe the women I heard from this week are resentful. They are not grinding an axe or looking for ways to punish men. I know many of these women personally. Some of them hesitated to share their pain because they don't want to be perceived as whiners or complainers. They have tended to be quiet about these injustices, and they only talked about them because I asked. They are godly women who simply want dignity and a seat at the table.

I believe it's time for godly men to offer sincere apologies and genuine sensitivity. The devil wants to divide men and women, and he can manipulate the #MeToo movement to trigger a nasty gender war. We can diffuse that tension by changing our macho attitudes. It's time for us to listen to each other and value each other. It's time to stop abusing, muzzling and minimizing the spiritual gifts of our sisters in Christ.

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Wednesday, December 12, 2018