Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label masturbation. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

7 Lies Christians Believe About Sex - Frank Powell HELLO CHRISTIAN


 June 19, 2017

7 Lies Christians Believe About Sex

Jun 19, 2017 by Frank Powell
Frank Powell
Frank is lead writer and editor for the blog at Bayside church. He is also a husband, father and Jesus-follower. He plays golf occasionally. He drinks coffee often. You can find more of his content at http://blog.baysideonline.com/

Things aren’t always as they seem. Take Prince Hans in the movie Frozen, for example. That fool pretends to be a charming, stand-up guy. And when Anna needs him most, Prince Hans pulls an Okie-Doke on her, leaving her for dead. What a jerk.
I seriously think I threw my couch pillow at the tv the first time I saw it. My wife then stared at me with a look like, “Did you really just throw a pillow at the tv over a cartoon movie?”
I was slightly embarrassed. But I don’t regret my actions.
Hollywood has built an industry on the “Prince Hans Principle” (yeah, I just made that up). Movies will paint a character one way, then drop the bombshell. But let’s be honest. Hollywood doesn’t hold the rights to this principle. Unfortunately, things aren’t always as they seem in the real world either. This is true of people, political and social ideas, and everything in between.
If you grew up in Christian culture, the “Prince Hans Principle” applies to many things, but it especially applies to sex. I remember the first time someone told me sex was a gift from God. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to slap them for insulting God or cry because they might actually be right. In the days and weeks that followed, I started to realize sex was a gift from God.
And it changed everything.
You see, I always thought sex was from Satan. Christians just borrowed it for pro-creation or something. But the more I talked to other people and studied Scripture, the more I realized things weren’t as they seem.
Today, I see sex as a beautiful, powerful gift from God. But getting to this point wasn’t easy. And I still have baggage from the years of lies I had to destroy. Some (or maybe most) of these lies I acquired from my Christian culture. Others I picked up from Hollywood, friends, etc.
Regardless, here are 7 lies Christians believe about sex.
1.) Sex is dirty, nasty, and only useful for pro-creation.
So, what if I told you sex is a gift from God? I know. That destroys the foundation of your understanding of sex. But it’s true. Sex isn’t dirty and nasty. And its purpose isn’t solely to keep the world populated.
But, for most Christians, sex is like that annoying family member. You know the one. God didn’t bless him (or her) with qualities like self-awareness. But he has a double portion of obnoxiousness. You dread family gatherings because the annoying family member will be there. But it’s your family. So, what choice do you have?
Sex and Christians have a similar relationship. We seem to tolerate sex because it is necessary to carry on the family name. But aside from that, it has no real purpose. So, we just deal with it. Because, well, we have to.
What if Christians embraced sex as a gift from God? What if the church viewed sex as a gift to be enjoyed by two people within the covenant bond of marriage? What if the church encouraged married people to explore sex? What if the church taught and discipled single people to see sex as a form of enjoyment and pleasure instead of the annoying family member no one wants to be around?
We might just build anticipation and excitement around God’s design for sex. Maybe single people would want to know more about this gift. And maybe they would share their current sexual struggles because they want to enjoy God’s gift…God’s way.
2.) Casual sex is fun and innocent. Everyone else is doing it.
So, golf is fun. White water rafting is fun. Sex is…fun? Is that how far sex has fallen in our culture?
Well done, Satan. Let’s give him a hand, guys. He has taken a mysterious, private, and extremely powerful gift and turned it into something…fun? Something like golf and white water rafting. Something recreational. Really?
Don’t get me wrong. Sex is fun. But it’s more than a recreational activity. Much more.
And while our schools give condoms to sixth graders, the church does little to raise expectations around sex. It’s almost as though Christians believe it’s better to hand out condoms than teach abstinence.
Look, it’s not a stretch to say marriage in our country is falling apart (at least partly) because sex has lost its mystery. Sex is nothing more than a recreational activity. It’s fun.
Meanwhile, God says sex binds two people together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There’s nothing simple about that. Until sex is seen as a powerful expression of covenant love, wrapped in mystery and complexity, marriages will continue to fall apart.
3.) It’s okay to have sex if I am in love.
In 10th grade, my U. S. History teacher said something I will never forget. “Love is not something you fall in and out of. Love isn’t primarily a feeling. It’s primarily a decision.”
Now, if you are wondering how love and U. S. History are connected, I wonder the same thing. But don’t derail my point.
At the time, I thought my teacher was ignorant. After all, as a 10th grader I had fallen in love several times. But now I see that I was never in love. I was infatuated.
Sex isn’t for two people who are “in love.” Sex is for two people who are married. Two people committed to one another for the duration of their earthly lives. If you and your “boo” are madly in love, get married. If you can’t get married because you are 15, trust God’s eternal plan for sex is better than your present one.
Sex outside of God’s design will always be a source of brokenness because it’s for people who are married, not people who are “in love.”
4.) If I remain pure before marriage, God will reward me with great sex.
Yeah, I thought this before I was married. And it’s not that the statement was made explicitly. But somehow I concluded it. And I have talked to other Christians who concluded the same thing. So, there must be something in the church water.
I am going to be real. Five years of marriage has taught me that sex is hard work. Yes, it’s pleasurable. But if you believe angels are going to sing, “Hallelujah!” while fireworks cascade around you the first time you have sex, prepare for disappointment.
So, why save yourself for marriage? Because it throws out any chance for comparison or emotional residue. It frees you and your current (or future) spouse to explore sex without baggage.
That’s worth the wait. I promise.
5.) If I have sex before marriage, I am tainted forever.
The church has implicitly (and explicitly) taught this for decades. And it’s not true. Yes, it is God’s desire for every man and woman to enter marriage without a sexual past. But it’s also God’s nature to take even the worst scenario and make it beautiful.
So, if you made mistakes sexually, God can and will forgive you. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, God can and will heal you. Don’t believe the lies you hear. You can still be used by God. You can still have a marriage that flourishes, and you can still enjoy sex with your current (or future) spouse.
But you must let go of shame and trust God’s power to completely forgive you.
6.) If I think about sex, I am wrong.
God created you with sexual desires. And he doesn’t expect you to suppress them. He expects you to control them. And, again, the church’s failure to address sex gives Satan an open door.
I will be the first to say lust is sin. Jesus makes it cut and dry (Matt. 5:28-29). But almost every teaching I hear on lust begins and ends like this:
“Lust is wrong. Don’t do it. Let’s pray.”
What the church needs to do is differentiate between lust and sexual desire. Lust is desiring something that is not yours. Lust is looking at another human being more as a piece of meat than a creation of God.
Sexual desire, however, is natural and healthy. It must be controlled. Of course. But it’s natural. So, don’t suppress your sexual desires. If you do, don’t expect to turn them on when you get married. At the same time, don’t give in to your sexual desires. Pray for self-control. Have an accountability group. Talk to someone you know and trust. But don’t give in.
7.) Having sex is a more significant sin than porn, masturbation, or lust.
This was my attitude as a teenager and young adult. I knew sex was wrong. And I thought that having sex outside of marriage would result in God turning me into a gnome or something.
So, how might a teenager afraid of becoming a gnome keep himself from having sex? Use other means to “release” what I thought was uncontrollable sexual desire.
“What’s the problem, Frank? That sounds like a great idea?”
Yeah, except it’s not.
Going back to Jesus, he says, “The mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Matt 12:34). What is Jesus really saying here? Your external actions are just an overflow of your heart’s desires.
So, having sex is simply an outpouring of a heart and mind filled with lust and impure thoughts. There is no distinction between adultery (having sex) and porn, masturbation, or lust (other means). What matters is the condition of your heart.
The goal for Christian purity isn’t physical abstinence as much as it is a heart free from impurity and lust.
_______________
Sex is a beautiful gift God gives to married couples. The church must create space for healthy discussions about sex. This will be awkward, yes. But until Christians understand the mystery and power of sex, we will continue to be plagued by skewed expectations and broken lives.
This article was written by Frank Powell and originally appeared at his blog. Find it here

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

7 Stumbling Blocks to Sexual Purity - SPIRTLED WOMAN


distracted woman
Women struggle with sexual temptation as much as men although it's more subtle. Here are 7 ways that women silently struggle. (http://www.stockfreeimages.com)

Spirit-Led Woman
Men aren't the only ones who wrestle with sexual temptation. In fact, women today need clear guidance on where to draw the line.
Indulging in a steamy romance novel ... going out of your way to pass by the attentive co-worker's desk ... surfing in cyberspace to find a chat room buddy who'll stroke your ego. None of these seemingly innocent activities could be considered cheating or sexually compromising, right? Or could they?
Where is the line between sexual integrity and compromise? What constitutes marital unfaithfulness? Can we consider ourselves "pure" as long as we've not been physical with another man? Or, does sexual purity go deeper than that?
Even Christians often assume that until they actually engage in intercourse with another person, they're acting with sexual integrity. But our sexuality isn't just what we do, but rather who we are.
God created us with not just a body, but also with a mind, heart and spirit. These four components combine to form the whole of who God made us to be.
Therefore, our bodies are only one aspect that we must guard against sexual compromise. It is vital that we also carefully guard our minds, hearts and spirits.
The Components of Sexuality
Over the last decade, pursuing my own healing from these issues, as well as teaching on the topic of sexual purity, I have come to understand that in some way or another sexual integrity is a battle that every woman fights.
Perhaps Kevin and Ruth's experience can help you visualize this four-component concept. After their wedding, they proceeded into the reception hall where a long, lace-covered banquet table displayed the beautiful multitiered wedding cake, the crystal punch bowl and cups, sterling silverware and frou-frou monogrammed napkins. The only problem was that whoever set up the table forgot to fasten the latch on one of the folding legs. As soon as the red punch was poured into the crystal punch bowl, the leg buckled and everything slid down to the floor with a clatter!
When all four of a table's legs aren't securely fastened, the possibility of a mishap is pretty good. The same can be said of our sexuality. All four components-mind, body, heart and spirit-must be guarded in order for our lives to reflect purity and integrity.
So how can we securely guard our minds, bodies, hearts and spirits from sexual compromise? What things are women prone to do that undermine our sexual integrity? We'll need to examine the most common temptations women face.
Seven Pitfalls to Sexual Purity
1. Unhealthy comparisons. Whether it's the Hollywood hunk, the passionate pastor or the charming neighbor, it's tempting to compare our mates to other men and meditate on the many ways he fails to measure up. But what man can possibly live up to the bright and shining qualities of all others?
When we compare ourselves to the magazine model or the younger, smarter, prettier secretary in his office, discontentment is sure to follow. We can become so disillusioned with our less-than-perfect partners or with ourselves that our sex lives are negatively affected. If you find yourself falling prey to unhealthy comparisons, remind yourself of three wonderful things about your husband (or about yourself), then say a prayer of thanks to God for His wonderful creation.
2. Mental fantasies involving others. If you discovered that your husband fantasizes about other women while being intimate with you, would you feel offended? Sure. And most husbands would feel the same way if the tables were turned.
To safeguard your mind from straying outside of your marriage bed, I recommend leaving the lights on and keeping your eyes open during intimate moments together. It may seem unusual at first, but think about it: When we talk with someone, we don't usually turn our backs or close our eyes. We prefer the intimate connection of face-to-face and eye-to-eye contact.
A dark room or closed eyes can hinder, rather than foster, genuine intimacy if our minds are prone to wandering. Remaining mentally and visually focused on your husband during lovemaking will help you feel more connected.
Single women, too, must be aware that allowing their minds to envision inappropriate activities or relationships paves the way for their defenses to become so weakened that they eventually act out their thoughts. Avoid tempting fantasies by limiting their access to your mind.
3. Emotional affairs. Many women protect their bodies from sexual sin, but allow their hearts to stray far from home. Even if the relationship never becomes sexual, for a man to lose his wife's heart to another is a crushing blow. Some women seek to medicate the pain of loneliness or rejection when they feel love is eluding them. Some take solace in food; others in sexual relationships with any willing partner.
Women don't usually intend to get tangled up in an emotional affair. If you find yourself sensing an improper attraction to or from a man, avoid being alone with him (even in a public place) and refrain from conversations that you wouldn't want others to know about, including private e-mails, chat rooms and telephone conversations.
Remember, the heart is to be guarded above all else! (See Prov. 4:23.) Find an accountability partner, and give her permission to ask you the hard questions to keep you from falling into an emotional affair.
4. Pornography and Internet chat rooms. Men aren't the only ones tempted to peep at porn. Many women admit to compulsively accessing Internet pornography, at first perhaps out of curiosity or to see what their husbands were looking at, but later to satisfy their own lustful curiosities.
Looking at pornography pulls our minds away from God's plan for sexual purity within marriage like nothing else. Those graphic images of other people often continue to flash through our minds even when we are making love with our spouses.
Many women prefer cyber sex (or cyber foreplay) in chat rooms with strangers. While it may feel exciting to be intimate with a stranger, divulging and learning new things about each other, such isn't intimacy-it's just intensity-a cheap substitute for the real thing. Genuine intimacy is achieved only by personal contact over long periods of time, such as in marriage.
An unmarried woman demonstrates her love for God by focusing her thoughts on Him and on those things He has prepared for her to do that are pleasing to Him. Cyber relationships of a sexual nature fuel unhealthy appetites and foster a sense of guilt that will inhibit intimacy with the Lord.
5. Romance novels and soap operas. It's no coincidence that I was experiencing the most extramarital temptation during the days that I watched All My Children, One Life to Live and General Hospital while my children were napping. When we put garbage into our minds, we can expect it to rot and create a stench that infects our lives.
Romance novels can have a similar effect, stirring up cravings for illicit sexual encounters. Even though there are some great Christian romance novels out there, if you find yourself feeling disappointed that your husband doesn't sweep you off your feet like the hero in the story, it's a threat to your emotional sobriety and faithfulness in marriage.
Singles who indulge in this kind of sexually suggestive entertainment can find their struggle with temptation intensified, as I did. They may also find their future attempts at enjoying intimacy in marriage hampered.
6. Self-sex. While some experts say that masturbation doesn't hurt anyone, we are being selfish lovers when engaging in sexual pleasure apart from our spouses rather than sharing a mutually satisfying experience. I suggest incorporating a "no masturbation" rule in marriage. When sexual tension is felt by either or both partners, it's a great motivator for us to draw closer to one another, creating a stronger, more intimate bond.
Singles often think, "Once I have a husband, I won't feel the need to masturbate any longer." However, a wedding band on your finger and the freedom to have guilt-free sex doesn't always remove the craving for self-gratification.
Many women remain addicted to masturbation even after marriage. We train our bodies as to what it finds pleasurable, and once you train your body to fly solo, sharing the experience with a partner can prove challenging and frustrating.
It's often argued that the Bible doesn't expressly forbid it. However, let's be honest, when women masturbate, they don't think pure thoughts, and the Bible is very clear about that issue (see Phil. 4:8). Masturbation enslaves you and is a very proud response to our human desires. Such actions tell God: "You can't satisfy me, nor is Your Holy Spirit strong enough to control me. I must take care of my own physical desires."
But God does know what will truly satisfy you. Once you allow Him to prove Himself in this area, you will understand that God-gratification instead of self-gratification will ensure that your body, mind, heart and spirit remain pure.
7. Using sex to manipulate or control. A woman doesn't have to engage in secretive extramarital acts to defile her own marriage bed. Using sex as a reward for good behavior or withholding sex as punishment for not-so-good behavior makes a mockery of God's design for sexual intimacy. Marriage should be about ministering to each other's needs, not manipulating each other.
If you have a tendency to use sex as a bargaining tool, make a concerted effort to engage in sexual pleasure with absolutely no strings attached. Some women may also use sex as a form of control, avoiding it altogether while appearing to be disinterested.
However, a sexless marriage is a sure sign of trouble. God created us to be sexual beings and if our libido is low, there are likely medical or emotional issues hindering your natural sexual desires. Talk to your doctor or professional counselor if such is the case.
The issue of sexual flirtation should also be addressed here. Some women are too naive to recognize the impact of their words and mannerisms on men. Others are so hungry for affirmation that they will continue to jeopardize their integrity in order to fish for compliments anyway.
We must recognize when our communication begins to border on becoming flirtatious. Whether the relationship is a forbidden one or one you do not want to cultivate, keep your conversations on a level that does not lead to intimate talk and compromise.
The Rewards of Sexual Integrity Once a woman learns to guard her mind, heart, spirit and body from sexual compromise, she is free to discover the joy of connecting physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually with her husband.
To help you visualize the powerful bond that such a connection creates, imagine a light bulb and a laser beam. The power of a single light bulb is limited because it sends light in many different directions. But with a laser beam, light rays are parallel to one another, instead of fanning out in all directions. A laser beam is so concentrated that you can cut metal or perform surgery with it.
Many marriages have only experienced "light bulb sex." Because of pornography, masturbation, emotional affairs, fantasies and such, our sexual energies are often spread out in a multitude of different directions. But I want to challenge you to concentrate your sexual energies just like rays of light are concentrated in a laser beam.
There is nothing sexier or more satisfying than two people, committed for life, focused solely on each other's pleasure, and on meeting each other's sexual and emotional needs. Make your spouse the sole object of your sexual desires and the beneficiary of your passions, and you will both discover the definition of sexual integrity and fulfillment.
If you are single, allow yourself to be courted by our Creator. Focus your energies on Him. The same God whose words formed the entire universe longs to whisper into your hungry heart words that have the power to thrill you, heal you and draw you into the deepest love relationship of your life.
One day a husband may say to you, "I'm committed to you until death," but God says to all of us today, "'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'" (Heb. 13:5, NIV).
I encourage you to draw a hard line against sexual and emotional compromise. Be honest with yourself about any hidden motives you may have and, above all, pursue a love relationship with Jesus Christ. Once you experience a love so pure and so passionate, your heart will be strengthened in a way that you never imagined possible.
Shannon Ethridge is the author of several books on sexual integrity, including Every Woman's Battle (WaterBrook), from which portions of this article were adapted.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Deliverance from Sexual Sins - Jim Croft

Deliverance from Sexual Sins 
- Adapted from sermon on Omega Man Internet Radio Show 11/19/13

Jim Croft


This article is designed to give Christians a biblical perspective about sexual practice and orientation. It is presented to answer questions that Christians frequently asks about sex practices. The word definitions offered can be verified by Strong’s Concordance; the footnotes and lexicon of Zodhiates’ KJV Study Bible; Dake’s Bible; and English language dictionaries. 

Please be forewarned that the explanations given require vividness beyond the comfort zones of routine Christian reading. As you read, it would be beneficial to keep a scriptural proverb and a spiritual principle in mind. The scriptural proverb: "I am not my own. The members of my body are for the Lord. I have been bought with a price: The precious blood of Jesus." 

The spiritual principle 

Without discipline, there cannot be any lasting enjoyment of life’s pleasures. 

Target Audience 

This piece is not intended to be overlaid on the unconverted of American society. It is not a demand that they see the matters at issue from a Christian perspective. Those who have not experienced the light of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ are not automatically predisposed to sense a need to distinguish right from wrong in regard to sexual activity and sexual orientation. 

There are believers who claim that our society’s preoccupation with sex and acceptance of aberrant sexual practice is a primary cause for national woes. The lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community are often named as a major focus of blame. The attitudes displayed by many toward those of homosexual orientation are un-Christian, unbiblical and un-American. 

 It is inappropriate to suggest that they should be barred from public employment based upon private sexual practice. The Bible admonishes Christians to be at peace with all men and to honor all people. (Heb 12:14; 1Pet 2:17) Cordial respect for people in the thoroughfares of life does not carry innuendo that every aspect of lifestyle is condoned. The Corinthian believers were guilty of grievous sexual sins. Nevertheless, the opening remarks of Paul’s first letter gave them credit for where credit was due. (1Cor 1:4-7) He made honorable mention of the many areas of spirituality where they excelled. (1Cor 1:5-7) 

Lesbians and Gays tend to have reputations for dedication to vocational excellence and to pleasing business clients. Christians called to exemplify the peace of God should be willing to honor LGBT people for the contributions they make to daily life without making an issue of their chosen sexual orientation. 

Some pulpits assert that the reason that there has not been widespread national revival is because of its decadence. This position does not have biblical support. It is a deception directly from Satan’s playbook. This can be seen by considering the evangelistic success of the First Century Church and by examining the writings of the Apostle Paul. 

The Gentile cultures of his day had been steeped in every form of deviate sexual practice for centuries. It was en vogue for the wealthy to have mistresses. Male and female temple prostitutes were available for idolatrous heterosexual and homosexual rituals. Pedophilia was a point of pride and bestiality was not uncommon. 

The intensity of their societal decadence far surpasses that of present American culture. Nevertheless, the cultural preoccupation with sex did not hinder evangelism. Churches had numerous people who had once been adulterers; promiscuous libertines; and those of (LGBT) orientation. Overall, the adversarial environment to which some Christians have contributed by not minding their own business has not enhanced the world’s view of the Body of Christ. (1Pet 4:15) 

Our Business & God's Business 

Even though Paul commended the Corinthians in his opening remarks, he later reprimanded them for the various forms of sexual immorality that were common among them. He made special emphasis about a man guilty of incest with his stepmother. Paul compared sexual sins to yeast that spoiled the purity of the loaf of Christian fellowship. He called for cleansing repentance from sexual sin’s yeast. (1Cor 5) 

Paul insisted that believers were not to keep company with professing Christians who persisted in sexual immorality. He specified that he was not speaking of the necessary interaction that believers must have with the unconverted in this life. Restrictions that broad would require removal from the planet. (1Cor 5:9- 10) The world’s attitude about what it means to be Christian would tend to be more favorable if believers would abide by New Testament principles. The Word does not commission Christians to judge and condemn the people of the world for any sins, sexual or otherwise. 

The apostle Paul stated emphatically that it was not his place or ours to condemn deviate behavior among the unconverted. (1Cor 5:9–13) We are, however, charged to gently approach fellow believers when we sense that they are snared by aberrant behavior. It is our business to judge ourselves to prevent God’s judgment from falling on any of us. It is God's business to convict the unconverted about the danger of judgment for sin, including sexual impropriety. (1Cor 5:9-13)

Perverse Sex Insults God’s Holiness 

After God created Adam and Eve, He commended His handiwork by saying it was very good. The goodness God spoke of included their capacity to enjoy sexual relations. The bond of physical intimacy between a husband and wife typifies the relational non-sexual intimacy that the redeemed are to have with the Godhead through the Holy Spirit. (Eph 5:30–32) 

Husbands and wives are one flesh. Those who are joined to the Lord are one in spirit and body with Him. Salvation’s mystical union unites believers with the Trinitarian oneness of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. 

Satan and his evil spirits have never been offered an intimate familial relationship with the Godhead. The devil and his minions, therefore, are insanely jealous of the quality of trust that sexual intimacy between married couples of the opposite sex represents in the eternal realm of the Spirit. Satan and evil spirits are incapable of attacking God directly. 

This is why demons throughout human history have concentrated so much effort on polluting sexual intimacy. The unholy and unnatural defilements that mankind invents at the urging of evil spirits are designed to insult God. 

Origins of Perversity 

Romans 1:18–32 outlines how sex perversions evolved. Subsequent to the fall of Adam, mankind began a downward spiral. The motivating factor was pride. It caused mankind to suppress the truth that God’s invisible attributes and the path to godliness can be clearly understood by observing creation. There are many facets of life that are designed to reflect God’s glory. 

The devil enticed humans to become preoccupied with self-centeredness that led to idolatry. His first subsequent step was the perversion of sex. According to the Bible, the natural sexual functions of men and women were exchanged for unclean acts that were unnatural. The progressions within the verses seem to indicate that women led the way in craving unclean sex acts that were against nature. 

We need to examine the implications of terms used in Rom 1:24-27. The basic meaning in Greek for “unclean” can be physical or moral, or can infer both simultaneously. The Old Testament was given to enlighten us about godly principles. This has relevance to what falls under the term, unclean.

God walked among the tents of the Israelites in the Wilderness and their camp was to be kept holy. When pressed to have bowel movements, which are routinely accompanied by urination, they were instructed to go out of the camp. The refuse was to be buried with a digging implement. The instruction’s purpose was to prevent God from seeing the uncleanness and removing his protective hand from his people. (Deut 23:12-14)

The concept that refuse and urine polluted the camp and was repulsive to God can have a message for Christians. It might be considered strong suggestion that oral and anal sex is unclean. Those acts bring the partner performing the act directly into contact with the residue of the fecal material or the urine residue of the recipient. Some might complain that they are under grace and not the Law. 

In the context of sex the apostle Paul disagrees. He said that the Law was specifically for those who committed unlawful acts that were against sound doctrine. Fornication and sodomy were in the list. (1Tim 1:8-10) Later in this article, you will see that sodomy’s definition includes oral and anal copulation. The word translated as “lusts” in Rom 1:24 is the longing for that which is forbidden. The definition for “against nature” in Rom 1:26, is “against germination.” 

Here is the gist of what is conveyed in Rom 1:24-27: Perhaps to avoid unwanted pregnancy and surely with ungodly craving, men and women engaged in forbidden immoral sex acts that were unnatural and physically unclean. Eventually, the sex acts expanded to use among same sex partners. In other words, the corruption of sexual relations began with heterosexuals and subsequently homosexuality evolved as a deeper unnatural corruption. 

By definition, activities designed to implant seed emitted from the reproductive organs of one sex into that of the opposite sex for fertilization are natural. Emissions with those of the same sex are unnatural. The same might be said of emissions into body cavities that do not lead directly to fertilization. 

This puts heterosexual oral and anal sex at question to the same extent as homosexual practice. Rebellion by committing unnatural sex acts led to other sins such as greed, deceit, strife, unforgiveness, and hatred for God. Mankind was permitted to go its own way. All the while the voice of conscience warned that those who sow such acts chance reaping self-inflicted judgments. (Rom 2:1-16) 

Further Definitions 

Newer translations of the Bible do not give the clarity of the KJV in relation to terminology related to sexual practice and compulsions. The definitions become more understandable by Greek Lexicon and English language dictionary searches. I will provide some definitions and will make remarks that you can weigh with your conscience to evaluate what might be applicable to you. 

Sexual immorality 

According to Webster’s Dictionary the word immoral is defined as not conforming to accepted patterns of what is considered right and wrong behavior in a culture. This is problematic for Christians because the societal understanding of what is acceptable sexual practice has changed over the past generation. Many converts that have come into our churches in recent decades have a concept of sexual morality that is far more permissive than that of previous generations. 

Much of what they practice and think is morally OK is actually sexual immorality. At this point newer translations of the Bible are not helpful. Sexual immorality is often used as a generic term that blurs the meaning of distinct objectionable sex acts. 

One of the words often blanketed is fornication. Throughout the Bible, fornication denotes most every unlawful sex act that is against sound doctrine. Its use in the KJV includes promiscuity among the unmarried, adultery and incest. (Matt 5:32; 1Cor 5:1, 6:9) 

In Heb 13:4, avoiding adultery and fornication are mentioned in relation to the sanctity of the marriage bed. This leads me to believe that fornication might also apply to some sex acts within marriage by which many are polluting the marriage bed without knowing it. 

Many relatively recent converts do not understand that the mindset they brought into the salvation about sexual morality might not meet authentic biblical standards. 

I once had a conversation with a minister who had a broad ministry with Christian singles. As he traveled from church to church, he frequently asked for a show of hands from those who were sexually active. He said the norm was well over 80%. 

Sodomite (1Cor 6:9 NKJV) – Sodomy defines the sexual practices of LGBT people and of many heterosexual teens, adult singles, and married couples. The dictionary definition of sodomy gives reason for concern. It is anal or oral copulation with a member of the same or opposite sex; and it is also copulation with animals. 

For the sake of decency, I cannot go into details about how the bestiality happens. However, it is not unusual for ER workers to be called upon to extract declawed rodents from the body cavities of homosexuals. 

Oral sex is extremely common in Christian circles. Girls as young as eleven are giving oral sex to lines of waiting boys. It is touted in some areas as “the new goodnight kiss.” 

Twenty years ago, I frequently ministered at the 3rd largest Pentecostal assembly in a faraway State. The music team of young singles trusted me as a spiritual confidant. They once asked if I thought it was OK for them to service one another to relieve stress. I asked what servicing meant. They said it was giving oral sex to team members of the opposite sex who were chosen at random. 

The answer that I gently gave them was nothing akin to what they had hoped. Anal sex is less common, but there are Christians who have no pang of conscience about engaging in it as a substitute for vaginal intercourse and as sexual foreplay. Like oral sex, it is at times employed with dating couples who plead monogamy as they intend to marry. 

Most would concede that marriage plans do not always work out. Even if they did, the concern of believers should be to do all things as unto the Lord. 

Harlotry

A harlot is a woman who sells a variety of sex acts. The Old Testament expands harlotry to “playing the harlot.” This was reference to young women having premarital sex. The penalty was death by stoning. (Deut 22:20-21) 

We can all be grateful that the death penalty does not apply under the New Covenant. But, we cannot assume that God has dismissed his objections to single women playing the harlot. And, for sure men are not given a free pass in the matter. 

This is made evident in 1Cor 6:15-20. Whether male or female the bodily parts of a Christian’s body are joined to the Lord. Entrance into the body of another and conversely being entered, whether vaginal, oral or anal; in affect unites the Lord and the two committing the sinful act together as one. 

Our temples of the Holy Spirit are not to be used to drag the Lord through sinful mires. 

Masturbation

There are Christians who say there are not any explicit admonitions in the Bible against masturbation. Jesus stated that any man, who looks on a woman with lust, has committed adultery in his heart. (Mt 5:28) 

During masturbation, normally speaking, another person is envisioned as a participant. Does it not stand to reason that the fantasies imagined while bringing about orgasmic release intensifies the sinfulness? Those who are lenient with themselves about masturbation risk giving invitation to depraved sex spirits.  
I once dealt with a seminary student who confessed addiction to necrophilia. He masturbated with dead fur-bearing animals. God set him free of that hideous demon. There are those who claim that masturbation can be enacted mechanically without thinking about another person. The Book of Jude speaks about those who are sensually minded and are not exhibiting the Spirit of God. A sensual person has excessive devotion to fulfilling bodily appetites. 

Jude compared the sensually minded to the people of Sodom who were only interested in self gratification. He stated that the wayward believers were acting like brute beast. (Jude 1:4, 7-8, 10, 16, 18-19) Beasts seek sexual release without reasoning about anything beyond the drive to fulfill a bestial urge. Can it possibly be righteous for a Christian to release an urge in a non-thinking manner that was intended to foreshadow eternal intimacy with God? I think not. 

We are new creations in Christ and we must not be reduced to acting like brute beasts. 

Homosexuality 

Most anyone who counsels churched people has encountered closet homosexuals and bisexuals. In the context of Christianity and the born-again experience, the argument about whether homosexuality is genetic or acquired is rendered moot. Even the rare instances in which a person is born with homosexual desires or tendencies do not provide a free pass to engage in a sodomistic homosexual lifestyle. 

It is just as ungodly to live out the tendency toward homosexuality as it would be to live out an inborn tendency to be a drunkard. 

Some complain that homosexuality is natural because some same sex animals ride one another sexually. They did not do so at creation. God referred to them as good and blessed them with the good ability to be fruitful in producing after like kind. (Gen 1:21-25) 

The fall of Adam corrupted the entirety of creation. For this reason creation groans, waiting for redemption from the ugly futilities of the fall of Adam (Rom 8:20-22) 

It is not life-threatening to say no to the forbidden behavior for the sake of Christ. One can go to heaven with unfulfilled sexual compulsions. No one can see God unless he or she has reckoned those unlawful passions as dead in the active pursuit of holiness. (Col 3:5; Heb 12:14) 

The claim of Satan’s propaganda machine is that that sexual abnormalities do not succumb to reparative therapy. That is not what the Bible teaches. In 1 Corinthians 6:9–13, there is a list of unrighteous individuals who will not inherit the Kingdom of God. Fornicators, adulterers, homosexuals, thieves, drunkards and revilers are mentioned specifically. 

The passage proclaims boldly, however, that these ones can be changed by salvation. I have added italics to verse eleven to emphasize that after being born again, those who previously sinned in that way were no longer ensnared in those sins: “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” 

Without question, those who want to continue homosexuality after experiencing the new birth often exhibit a double standard. Let us imagine a professing Christian homosexual couple has one partner who is a thief and is given to abusive speech. It is highly probable that the law-abiding, verbally abused partner would press the offending partner to stop stealing and to control his tongue. Furthermore, he would expect him to succeed at doing so. 

Biblically, thievery and abusive speech appear in the same list as fornication and homosexuality. Remember the phrase that such were some of you in 1 Corinthians 6:11: Is there any biblical reason why it applies to thieves and revilers and not to homosexuals? There is no difference. Sin is sin. 

Christ within empowers believers to put all sinful inclinations into the past tense. 

Testimony 

There is a need for the churched to confess and to receive deliverance from homosexual temptation. When I was 9 years old, my father invited a member of our church to have Sunday lunch with us. While my parents were preparing the table, the man watched television with me.  He began to fondle my privates through my clothing. 

It was very frightening and after a few minutes I jumped up and ran to tell my father. He expelled the man from our home. However, the man continued attending our church and no one was warned about his predatory homosexual pedophilia. 

Several years later it was discovered that the church's minister of music was a ravenous bisexual. I never gave the incident another thought until after my salvation at age 24. I had no interests in homosexuality and in fact had no idea about what they did to one another. 

However, shortly after I accepted Christ I began to have weird compulsions and fears. At times, I wondered what it would be like to dress like a woman. This gave me the tormenting fear that I might be a latent homosexual. I never gave in to the compulsions nor did I ever experiment with what I feared. Where did this plague come from?

Fear trauma had gripped me as that man briefly fondled me at age 9. This gave entrance to evil spirits that fueled the compulsion and my unreasonable fears. The light of Christ and the rain of the Holy Spirit that came with my baptism in the Holy Spirit exposed the evil spirits and caused them to surface with fury. (Eph 5:8-14; Heb 6:7-8) 

I praise God that I had the Christian discipline to resist the cross dressing compulsion. I learned about deliverance from evil spirits. Through self- deliverance, I expelled the effeminate demon and the demon of the fear of latent homosexuality from myself. I have been completely free since that time. Through deliverance ministry, Satan’s plans to destroy my marriage and my ministry were spoiled. 

Marriage 

With married couples, the voice of God within is a trustworthy gauge to help discern what is appropriate and what is not. Certainly within the bonds of married love, there is room for variety in sexual positions and so forth. 

If, however, the “so forth” experimentation makes either partner uncomfortable, the uneasiness is likely justified. It is sinful to coerce a spouse to engage in a sexual activity that they cannot perform in good conscience. Anyone who continually ignores godly inhibitions is at risk of opening up to spirits of perversion. 

Further enticements for more intense types of experimentation are likely to follow. Astonishingly, for example, there are sophisticated people who are addicted to pain during sex. Two of the bizarre practices are choking and fisting. Both were surely spawned by demons. 

With choking, the female’s breath is cutoff when she signals nearing orgasm. This supposedly heightens intensity of orgasm. Fisting is used in masturbation. The operative partner puts direct finger pressure on a male recipient’s prostate to bring about excessive ejaculation. Or, the operative partner yanks on a male or female recipient’s lower bowel when told orgasm is beginning. 

It is not unusual for hospitalization to be requited for the severely injured. Satan’s objective is to inundate the marriage bed with activities that cause couples to cast aside all thoughts of holy union. In such instances, many would testify that any momentary gratification they might experience carries a heavy price tag of emptiness of soul the morning after. 

Motives 

I realize that this reading has provoked varying reactions. Some are relieved for clarity about practices about which they have had doubts. Others wish I would keep my opinions to myself. It would be appropriate for the latter to weigh their motives. 

All of the ways of a man are right in his own eyes, but God weighs the motives. (Prov 16:2) What is driving your resistance? Are you sure that the Holy Spirit within your conscience is giving you liberty to do whatever you like in sexual practice? Or, could it be that what you long for is actually your carnal mind warring against the truth in your spirit? (Rom 8:5-9; 1Pet 2:11; Gal 5:17) 

Believers are to set their affections on complying with God’s Spirit. We are to reckon ourselves dead to sin and alive unto righteous behavior. Our bodies are to be considered dead to the fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affections and evil concupiscence that we once walked in that provoke the anger of God. (Col 3:1-7) 

Some practices and attitudes are physically filthy and morally defiling. The footnotes and lexicon of Zodhiates’ KJV Study Bible bring clarity to those found in the Col 3 passage. Zodhiates defines fornication as the sexual sins of the unmarried and married, including adultery, homosexuality, and incest. 

The Greek for inordinate affections is pathos epithumia. Pathos is to have a diseased condition of soul. Epithumia is the lusts that are spawned by a diseased soul. Evil concupiscence is a longing, especially for that which is forbidden or constitutionally bad, evil. Older translations of the Bible make reference to lasciviousness in 2Cor 12:21 and Gal 5:19. 

Biblically it means to stir-up lusts in others that cannot be legitimately fulfilled in holiness. Isa 3:16-25 gives a flaming indictment against the daughters of Zion who walked in haughty flirtatious. Christian women and men are of Zion and there are those who dress and behave in a sexually provocative manner to draw attention. (Heb 12:22) 

It must be remembered that the scriptures warn that those who do not repent shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. I do not know the full implications of inherit. I imagine that at best it means that such individuals will be granted entrance into heaven, but will not ever have right to wield authority in the eternal Kingdom. I shudder even to think about the far worse alternative consequence for rebellion. 

Christians are in a race to win God’s crown of approval at the Judgment Seat of Christ. We are to keep our bodies under subjection lest we reject conscience and make shipwreck of our faith. Those who do so risks shrinking back in shame at the Lord’s coming. 

We are to be able to face the Lord in full expectation of the highest afterlife rewards. (1Cor 9:24-27; 1Tim 1:19; 1Jn 2:28-30; Philip 3:13; 2Tim 4:6-8) 

Deliverance 

The first step toward liberation from all forms of sexual sins is to genuinely want deliverance. It is unproductive to submit to deliverance just to please parents or to comply with the wishes of a spouse or to ease momentary guilt pangs. The primary motive must be the Spirit-inspired conviction that the act at issue insults the holiness of God. 

All sins are primarily of the flesh and any can be exacerbated by evil spirits. For this reason, it is appropriate to employ deliverance as well as repenting of the particular sin when it has not previously responded to routine Christian discipline. Going after a possible demon can completely eradicate some problems and can lower the intensity of others so that you can effectively resist temptations. (Gal 5:19-21) 

You must be absolutely committed to the reality that the old carnal nature was crucified with Christ at Calvary. That entity is dead and was buried in the waters of baptism. With those factors established, the specific demon of perversity must be expelled. 

If you are seeking help in this area, treat that demon with utter hatred over the despicable acts it has compelled you to perform. Homosexuals who have flaunted gayness in spiteful arrogance should repent of glorying in that which is shameful. (1Cor 5:1–2, 6; Eph 5:11–12) 

When I minister to those given to sex perversions and to sex addicts, I ask them to lay their hands on their erogenous zones, one by one. As they do so, I command the particular evil spirit to leave each location in Jesus’ name. 

In addition, sex addicts I have counseled have described what I define as an erotic demonic energy resident in them. It causes their flesh to tingle with desire for erotic flesh on flesh contact internally as well as externally. I have them repeat the laying-on-of-hands procedure and ask them to personally command that demonic energy to leave them. They often report that they felt the energy draining from them. I have seen the siphoning sensation weaken some to the extent that they physically collapsed. Have confidence that the Lord has given you authority to minister self-deliverance. 

This article has covered some sensitive core issues. It is fitting to spend some time seeking God as to whether or not areas in your life need adjustment. I suggest that you remember this article’s introductory scriptural proverb and repeat it several times. "I am not my own. The members of my body are for the Lord. I have been bought with a price: The precious blood of Jesus." 

If you sense deliverance from evil spirits is needed, confess the introduction’s spiritual principle with this add on before ministering self-deliverance: “Without discipline, there cannot be any lasting enjoyment of life’s pleasures. I will exercise discipline in all bodily appetites. By the power of the blood of Jesus, I will keep my body under subjection to the Cross of Christ. I command every sexual demonic spirit to leave my mind and soul now. The power of the strips of Jesus now heals my soul of its pathos diseased condition. My soul is healthy in righteousness and no defiling lusts will spring from it again. In Jesus’ name Amen.”

Jim Croft