I Can Relate - Now Think On This by Steve Martin

I Can Relate

- Now Think On This

by Steve Martin

“I don’t understand my own behavior — I don’t do what I want to do; instead, I do the very thing I hate!” Romans 7:15 Complete Jewish Bible

I certainly can relate to Paul at times. When I think I have mastered something in my spiritual walk, then, boom, I react the same way as before. And here I had thought I had checked that one off the “Got It Mastered” list.

Someone at work gets a big pat on the back during the company staff meeting. My response at times? “Well, what about that great job I did last week?” Instead of being congratulatory for them, I am asking myself, “Why didn’t I get acknowledged?”

Or the emotion that arises when driving down the highway and a young kid races by, obviously going beyond the suggested speed limit. My response has been, “I hope he gets caught. I want to get to my destination just as fast. But no one is catching him now are they?"

At other moments I find myself having high expectations, believing that a person is thinking the same way I am, and then finding out later that that wasn’t even on their mind at all. And then the big disappointment sets in, as I fall to the ground with the thought, “Another hope dashed.” At least it doesn’t take me days to get over it like it used to. Now it is down to a few hours. (At least most of the time.)

Paul got it right when he said, using the same verse as above, but as translated in the New American Standard Version, “For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.”

Weariness sets in when you think you have overcome a sinful act, and yet when the opportunity arises to show that what you had desired to be the true colors by now - well, it just isn’t quite yet, but the same old same old had just come back. Why is this so?

We need to continue to practice repentance; to keep looking to the Lord to help us overcome those things that just seem to hang on and not go away. Attitudes, behaviors, wrong directions we tend to take, in our natural and spiritual walks, that we thought we had dealt with already, are going to take more practice. Our dependence on the Lord should never go away, where we think we have accomplished “it” and can walk on our own. Sure, we are to be mature. It will certainly come as our acknowledgement of Him is kept forefront in our minds, wills and emotions.

David is another person given in Scripture as an example for us to imitate. I can certainly relate to David, as He called upon the Name of the Lord. As a shepherd, and then as king of Israel, his dependence on the Lord is evident in his words I believe he continually prayed, “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 NAS) He knew that only in His Lord would he be able to maintain a proper attitude towards people and situations that came his way.

Paul encourages us with his inspired words, giving us further hope that what we experience isn’t just us going through it, but that our fellow ones also struggle with this. “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13 NAS)

Bob Mumford, a popular Bible teacher whom I enjoyed hearing and reading his books in the 1970’s and 1980’s, liked to share experiences about how we get caught up “going around the mountain” – getting in that mode where we just can’t seem to conquer, or finish the test, but have to keep repeating it over and over again. But someday we do! Someday we will have gotten that last mountain test passed, and be promoted to the next grade, with bigger challenges.

My hope is that as I continually give myself to desiring the Lord’s cross in my life, allowing it to work the eternal effect it is to have in my heart and spirit, that the things I hate to do, will in time no longer have its hold on me.

I know you desire that too. Aren’t you glad we are not alone, that along with the Holy Spirit we will be overcomers. That is my hope. I know that He Who is Faithful and True also desires that for us too.

Now think on this,

Steve Martin

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Now Think On This #155 “I Can Relate” by Steve Martin 

Date: In the year of our Lord 2014 (6.12.14) Thursday at 8:15 am in Charlotte, NC.

All previous editions of Now Think On This can be found on this Blog, and on our newest website: Now Think On This

CBN News - How to Have a Highly Happy Marriage

How to Have a Highly Happy Marriage

By Paul Strand

CBN News Washington Sr. Correspondent

Monday, January 06, 2014

ATLANTA -- Do you believe you can be really happy in your marriage? It turns out most couples who are share much in common, and the traits that make them happy can be pretty easy to learn.

That's the word from best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn in her new book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages.

The Atlanta resident and Harvard-trained researcher has gathered comprehensive data and research about really satisfied husbands and wives. What she found is that these couples share a few key attitudes and actions.

She reveals these traits, and shows how you can put them to work making your own marriage "highly happy" because they're just not that complex.

Believe the Best

The first in Feldhahn's list of importance: believe the best of your spouse - no matter what happens. Choosing to believe they care for you turns almost any situation positive.

Feldhahn's husband and sometimes co-author learned this from his own experience.

"I knew that I could trust her," Jeff Feldhahn said as he sat next to his wife for this CBN News interview. "I knew that she had my best interests, I knew that she loved me. And so I would believe the best."

Shaunti Feldhahn said when they hit a snag, "The happiest couples go, 'Okay, they couldn't have meant it. They love me and let's move on.' It makes a huge difference when you assume the best."

Going 'All-In'

Her research includes what's made the 27-year union of Kim and Sabrina Moore work so well.

Feldhahn told CBN News that this Georgia couple personifies another of those traits that bring long-term joy: they went "all in."

There's no escape route or any thought of the "d" word...divorce...in their marriage. They don't keep secret cash accounts in case the relationship crumbles.

Kim described to CBN News the result of not going all in.

"Death - because it creates a wedge," he said. "God has designed for marriage to be complete intimacy. And you can't have intimacy if you have hidden pockets of things you're holding and hiding from each other."

Sabrina credited the "all in" decision both made as a major reason their marriage just keeps getting better over the decades.

"We're happier now than we've ever been," she declared.

The Little Things

Another trait the happiest couples share is that they don't forget the little things that actually make a big difference - like wives thanking their husband and letting him know they really appreciate his efforts.

"Saying that to a guy is his equivalent of saying 'I love you,'" Feldhahn said.

Husbands also need to take their wife's hand, leave her thoughtful messages, and not be afraid of public displays of affection, like putting an arm around her.

"All those things convey that 'I'm choosing you all over again,'" Jeff Feldhahn stated.

And husbands need to learn how to quickly get out of a bad mood.

Jeff learned how important that was when he realized how insecure his dark moods could make Shaunti about the health of their relationship. They would put a cloud over his whole household.

Just as Christians learn to command their souls to rejoice in harsh circumstances, Jeff has learned to command his heart to pull out of dark moods.

Shaunti told CBN News that has made her feel so much more secure when spats or negative things come up.

"When he makes the effort to pull himself out of the funk and to not be grumpy, not be morose, it's like, 'Whew, this isn't going to go in this really bad direction," Shaunti said.

No to Unrealistic Expectations

Another action of the highly happy: they refuse to hold any unrealistic expectations about their mate. That's because if your spouse can't realistically meet your expectations, then you can't ever really be happy with them.

Sabrina Moore admitted she had this problem coming into her marriage with Kim.

"There were expectations from her toward me that I had no idea were there," Kim said. "So there was resentment that began to build up because she was saying, 'He should know this,' and I didn't."

"There would be this wedge and this wall between us that he couldn't comprehend," Sabrina said of those early days. "And I couldn't comprehend that he couldn't comprehend."

Kim said of marriage, "Your expectations have to change coming into this thing."

These attitudes and actions are just a few of those highlighted in Feldhahn's new book. She pointed out the research in it proves without a doubt the homes that practice them will be joy-filled.

And struggling couples can use them to turn their marriages around.

The Divorce Myth

The Feldhahns wanted to point out one other truth: the 50 percent divorce rate is a myth. About 80 percent of couples thrive and survive, not a measly half.

Shaunti said knowing that can make a real difference when you hit the hard patches that every marriage inevitably faces.

"If you know most marriages do make it, most marriages are happy, it's a completely different feeling: like 'you know what? Statistically, we're going to be just fine,'" Shaunti explained. "We can get through this because most people do.'"

So the facts show the reality is you have no reason to be fatalistic about your marriage. Every couple has it in their power to make their partnership one that can truly be called "highly happy."