Conquer Fear Successfully
by Jennifer Winchester
Identity Network
Most of humanity tries to conquer their worst fears through the way that comes most naturally to them – control. The irony in this is that by attempting to control a particular situation, we actually help the fear to manifest itself and to come to pass. Why? Because trying to control a situation that you fear is actually a form of submitting to that fear. In doing so you are not having faith that God is in control. I know what some of you are saying, ‘But God expects us to do our part!’ While this may very well true, your part is not to take the situation wholly into your own hands. Let me give an example.
Let’s say that a newly married woman (let’s call her Sue) has a fear that her husband will cheat on her. Maybe her father was a cheater, or her last boyfriend. So Sue decides that in order to insure that her new husband will not cheat, she is going to monitor him constantly, keep him from going out with his friends, or doing anything outside of the home apart from her or very few well controlled situations for that matter.
He cannot have his own email, Facebook, etc. She checks his cell phone regularly and basically trusts in her own ability to prevent him from even having a chance to encounter another woman.
He cannot have his own email, Facebook, etc. She checks his cell phone regularly and basically trusts in her own ability to prevent him from even having a chance to encounter another woman.
While in Sue’s mind this seems to be logical, she in actuality is believing in her fear. The Bible tells us that what we believe in, is what will happen. Sue’s actions are actually imposing on and creating the optimal conditions in her marriage for her husband to cheat. Why? Sue is already treating him like a cheater, therefore he becomes the cheater that she always believed he would be.
The practical flesh and bones explanation for this particular situation is that eventually Sue’s husband will become tired of her controlling behaviors and He will seek out the companionship of someone who trusts him and has confidence in him, because one of a man’s greatest needs is for his wife to have confidence in him.
Avoiding Fear by Maintaining Control
Let’s say that your fear has nothing to do with a particular relationship. What if it is a broader fear, like a fear of not succeeding at a particular goal? There is a biblical illustration that Jesus gives us relating to a similar situation. In the parable of the Talents as told by Jesus himself, we are shown how trying to avoid fear by maintaining control is not only unproductive, but is seen as an act of wickedness! Let’s look at what happened with the servant who tried to conquer fear with control.
Matthew 25:24-30 Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. “Master,” he said, “I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.”
His master replied, “You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
This parable clearly shows the repercussions of trying to conquer fear through control.
The servant bowed down to his fear of losing the money, so he did not invest it, instead he decided to control its safety by burying it and in the end the outcome was worse than if he had invested it and lost it. On the other hand, the servant who had ten bags didn’t have the ten bags because he was lucky, he had ten bags because he had faith that what he was given would multiply, instead of a fear that it would be lost!
Spiritual No-Nos
There are a couple of main spiritual “no-nos” that give the enemy foothold in trying to control fear.
- Trying to control the thing you fear rather than trusting God, is a form of pride. It is telling God that you are better at handling the situation than He is.
- It is a form of idolatry. You in many ways are serving the fear. The fear dictates your actions, and even causes you to handle situations in ungodly ways.
- By attempting to have control over your fear, you are solidifying your belief in that fear. You are actually having faith in the fear – more faith in the fear than you have in God’s ability to handle it in a way that will eliminate it.
I feel it is important to also note here that fear, if gone undetected can become a generational curse, it may be a fear that your parents unintentionally gave to you through their actions or behaviors, and that you may hand down to your children as well.
I realize that this may be a little difficult for some to fully grasp, and even more difficult for one to be able to pinpoint in their own life. Many people will read over an article like this and quickly say “that’s not me.” Do not let that be you! Don’t let pride keep you from freedom! Fear is a stronghold, and takes deep spiritual maturity, and the ability to self-reflect sometimes on deeper levels to really be able to detect it.
This is because the strongest fears have been a part of our lives for so long that we cannot discern that they are there anymore. They become normal, acceptable, and the way we handle them is seemingly good to us. To suggest to handle them any other way is just foolishness to us!
1 Corinthians 1:27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
How to Handle Fear
So let’s talk about how to successfully handle fear.
- Realize that fear is a spiritual principality that no man is completely immune against. Realizing this is very crucial, because one of the biggest most successful tricks of Satan is to keep us from perceiving or discerning how he is attacking us. Keeping God’s people in ignorance, pride or denial is a huge benefit for him. If you say you have no fear chances are that it is just undetected, or the way you handle the fear makes you feel safe. Fear can start out very small, but if the person who has it is in denial it will grow to overtake them. Our only immunity against fear itself is to learn to first discern when we have one, and to admit it. This is the first step.
- Surrender the fear to God. This is really tough for some people. It means giving up control. It is complete surrender of the fear to God. It means you take your hands off of it! Bring it to God in prayer. Usually fears that are deep rooted (such as things that come from childhood pain, or past hurtful experiences) require fasting. This is because those fears have become strongholds. This is often not just a one – time prayer, it requires constant prayer for a period of time until the Holy Spirit fills the place where the fear once lived in you, and His peace takes over. Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
- Meditate on the goodness of God. When we fully grasp how much God loves us, and how much He cares about the details of our life, then we no longer fear things, people, or situations anymore. Here are some great verses to get started with:
- 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. and meditation on verses that tell us of God’s faithfulness, love and goodness.
- Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
- Hebrews 13:5-6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?”
- After you get peace, listen. The Holy Spirit will guide you if you need to take action. I can promise you, that the action He will prompt you to take will go against any other way you may have previously handled it – it may even seem foolish to you!
The most important thing that you need to realize is that fear is a way of seeing things. It distorts the reality of what God has planned for your life, and can keep you bound and stagnant. It is my prayer for you today that you recognize any fears that you have and give them over to the one who conquered all for us on the cross!
Prayer:
Father God, I come before you today and ask you to open my eyes to any fears that have gone undetected in my life. I also ask you to show me any ways that I am trying to control the things or situations that I fear. I ask that you forgive me for not trusting you with those areas. I give all of my fears and worries over to you, I take my hands completely off of the situation because I trust you more than I trust myself.
I ask for you to send me your peace, and love where fear once was, because I know that your perfect love casts out all fear. Thank you Jesus for conquering every fear and for making me victorious through your death and resurrection.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Jennifer Winchester
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