8 Qualities to Look for in a Good Friend - JARRID WILSON CHARISMA NEWS

8 Qualities to Look for in a Good Friend

 6/21/2016  Jarrid Wilson  Charisma magazine

Friends are easy to find. Great ones aren't. (Flickr )

Community is a big part of the life we live. And while some of us may have a bigger sense of community than others, the importance of having friends to confide in, spend time with and celebrate alongside is essential to living the community-based life Jesus has called us to.

Finding new friends is easy, but finding great friends can be quite tough. True friendships should last a lifetime, and I believe these 10 qualities are a good start when searching for friends you can truly do life with:

1. Reliable –Flakes are lame. Nobody likes to spend time with someone who constantly backs out of plans and shows up late. You'll find yourself getting more and more frustrated with this person each and every time it happens. Mind you, not everyone is perfect, but you want someone in your life who is reliable and can be counted on.

2. Trustworthy –Don't set yourself for friendship failure by befriending someone you cannot trust. Friendships with trust issues will always be a burden, especially if they are not handled carefully.

3. Driven –You are who you hang out with, regardless if you want to believe it. When you constantly surround yourself with people who are driven, it will continuously force you to evaluate your life, your goals and your dreams. Driven people make great friends. Why? Because they encourage you to step up your game for the betterment of you and your family.

4. Loving –It's always great to have friends who are loving in your life. Whether they are showing up to comfort you in a time of need or supporting you and your family during times of success, a loving friend is always a joy to have.

5. Forgiving –Grace is key to any long-lasting friendship. Friends who can forgive each other stay together. We forgive because Christ first forgave us (Col. 3:1). And while resentment is sometimes hard to let go of, showing forgiveness will always bring liberation and peace. It's always the better choice.

6. Honest –Find someone who will tell you the tough stuff, even it's hard to talk about. Honesty is key to any great friendship, and I believe having people in your life that won't hide the truth from you is something worth more than gold.

7. Supportive –Whether it is directed towards your goals, dreams or relationship with God, having friends that are supportive towards your personal goals is always a must. There is no use in spending time with people who aren't supportive of who you are or what you do.

8. Humble – Pride comes before the fall (Prov. 16:18). While there is nothing wrong with having friends who are confident in who they are and what they do, I'd recommend staying away from opening up your life to people who are "all about them." You'll want to surround yourself with people who are confident in who they are, but also willing to humble themselves and praise the success of others.

I'm sure there are plenty of other great qualities to look for in friends, but I hope these help in your journey of finding great community.

Jarrid Wilson is a husband to Juli, dad to Finch, pastor, author and inspirational blogger. His articles have been viewed by tens-of-millions, showcased on some of today's hottest talk shows, and featured on national news stations worldwide. He is a dynamic speaker whose outside-the-box perspectives have gained him national recognition from some of today's most influential Christian leaders and pastors. He is also the author of the book titled, Jesus Swagger.

For the original article, visit jarridwilson.com.

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A Great Move of God is Coming, But He Will Use the Unqualified - Steve Strang

Peter felt unqualified as a disciple, but Jesus knew of Peter's worth. (Lightstock)

A Great Move of God is Coming, But He Will Use the Unqualified

9/25/2015 STEVE STRANG  charisma magazine

Listen to the new Strang Report podcast weekly at charismapodcastnetwork.com.

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When Pat Schatzline wrote I Am Remnant in 2014, it hit such a chord with people that he renamed his ministry "Remnant Ministries International." As he traveled around the country speaking at churches, pastors and others would tell him—often with tears—how it resonated with them and that they were part of the remnant God was calling, but that they felt unqualified.

That led to his latest book, Unqualified, which shows how God always uses those who are unqualified to accomplish His will—in other words, those who are humble and know they must depend on God because they can't do it themselves.  

The book resonated with me because I certainly felt unqualified when I started Charisma magazine as a 24-year-old newspaper reporter. I still feel unqualified as I try to mobilize the church, involve myself with the culture wars or speak at places like the United Nations about the persecuted church.

I had the privilege of publishing Unqualified, but time doesn't allow me to read all the magazines, Internet content and books we publish. Yet somehow I felt drawn to this book. I try always to read a book during my daily quiet time to challenge me spiritually, and I'm glad I read this one.  

Pat is the consummate storyteller. Known for his crazy humor and unique ability to communicate God's Word with passion, he says his desire is to introduce a generation to the awesome love of the Father and to see God's last day remnant make a stand for truth through the power of the Holy Spirit.

The chapter that grabs most readers is titled "Ah, Sovereign Lord," in which Pat shares how he learned the nature of God. He also tells about a troubling dream during the summer of 2014 in which a wave washed across a map of the United States. In the dream, he shouted to people to jump to safety. One day he was crying out to God, reminding Him that He'd promised never to destroy the world again with water.

He writes, "Then I heard God say, 'Son, the dream you had was not the destruction of America, but a wave of My glory that will flood America!

"I said, 'Lord, I want to see America shaken by Your glory, but it seems so far away.'  The Lord then spoke again to me. He said, "Get ready, because it is coming!"

How encouraging that message is in a time when what we see around us and the messages we hear from leaders are often the opposite.

I knew I was in for a treat when I saw 25 endorsements in the front of the book received before it was published. I'd never heard of many of the people, but there were also well-known leaders like Sid Roth who wrote, "If you are unqualified plus Jesus, you are qualified and chosen to be front and center for the greatest harvest in history."  

Marcus Lamb went even further, "The book will help change the course of the church for generations to come."

One thing I liked is the way the author added "quotes" from a wide variety of people on what it means to be unqualified. These are "extras" because they aren't part of the text itself. If you simply flip through the book and read them with their gray background and different type font, they will inspire you.

Some like Joel Stockstill have national influence. He wrote, "The unqualified are those who have paid the price to walk closely with Jesus but have not been noticed by man for extreme gifting or personality. The playing field is being leveled by the Lord of the harvest and the laborers of true passion are being released."

Others were students like 20-year-old Tommy Vardaman of Portage, Indiana, who said,  "I would rather be considered unqualified, because then it is no longer about what I can do but what He can do through me."

The one I like best came from pro bass fisherman and winner of the 2014 Bassmaster Classic—Randy Howell of Springville, Alabama. He wrote, "The fishermen that Jesus called were the perfect example of the unqualified, but the only qualification Jesus asked for was faith."

Who should read this book?

• Anyone like me who likes to be inspired during their quiet times
• Pastors looking for pithy content to inspire their sermons
• People in general who feel unqualified and want to be encouraged—almost like a spiritual pep talk
• Those believing for an end-time harvest who want to understand strategies and to see God's plans and purposes

Pat's book is for the humble and for those with a heart to serve the kingdom.

"The spiritual depth of the unqualified will not come from degrees on the wall or memberships in prestigious God clubs, but from the classroom of brokenness," Pat says. "God doesn't look at polls or opinions when He chooses His leaders. He always looks for someone with a heart, regardless of what the world thinks."

Do you remember the book The Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren? It was also a book that resonated with people. But when it came out, Rick Warren was not well known. Pastors and others who had been touched by his ministry began talking about the book. The book took off, inspiring and influencing millions to find purpose in their lives.

I urge you to purchase Unqualified and read it. It's available wherever Christian books are sold or you can quickly download it on Kindle. You can purchase it through one of the online bookstores like Christian Book Distributors or amazon.com.

Pat believes passionately in this message. He's on a mission. The book is born out of that—not just a desire to write a book. But, he needs your help to forward this message on social media or to talk about the book within your circle of friends.

And as always, leave your comments below.

Steve Strang is the founder of Charisma and CEO of Charisma Media. Follow him onTwitter or Facebook.

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FIRE IN MY BONES - J. Lee Grady - "8 Qualities We Need in Today's Leaders"

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8 Qualities We Need in Today’s Leaders

10/9/2013 J. LEE GRADY, Charisma magazine

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The book of Nehemiah begins and ends with a prayer.

Five years ago, I had a birthday with a zero in it—and it scared me! But instead of fighting the aging process, I made an important decision: From now on, regardless of what else I do, my main priority is tomentor the next generation. That’s why I spend a lot of my time investing my time in young leaders.

There are some great resources on the market today about discipleship, but one of my favorites has been around a long time: the book of Nehemiah. I find in his story the best leadership principles recorded anywhere. And I love to share these with anyone who feels called to build something for God. 

At a time when many Christian leaders today are failing, we need to reclaim these eight vital qualities:

1. You must have a sure calling. Nehemiah said to the king: “Send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers’ tombs, that I may rebuild it” (Neh. 2:5, NASB, emphasis added). Nehemiah was a “sent one.” He was called by God, and he surrendered. You must be convinced that you are called. You may have great preaching skills, a powerful anointing or a magnetic personality, but human abilities and God-given talents alone will not make you successful. You must know that you know that you know that God has sent you.

2. You need a heavenly burden. When Nehemiah heard that Jerusalem’s walls were destroyed and that the Jews were displaced, he wept (1:4). His call to leadership flowed out of true compassion for people. The most successful leaders step into their assignments not because they want to make a name for themselves or because they want a paycheck from a church, but because they want to help others. If love is not your motivation, do us all a favor and wait until God’s compassion grips you. The church today does not need any more leaders with personal agendas or selfish ambitions.  

3. Your life must be saturated in prayer. The book of Nehemiah begins and ends with a prayer—reminding us that any successful leader must live a life of intercession if he wants to build successfully. Charles Spurgeon wrote, “Prayer has become as essential to me as the heaving of my lungs and the beating of my pulse.” Phrases such as “So I prayed ...” or “But we prayed ...” (2:4; 4:9) are inserted often in Nehemiah’s narrative. Any successful leader will experience the same rhythm of heartfelt prayers and joyful answers.

4. You must be a team player. Nehemiah was consumed by a great vision, but he did not attempt it alone. He went to the people and said, “Come, let us rebuild” (2:17, emphasis added). He was also willing for the members of his team to get credit. About 40 key men and women who repaired the gates and walls of the city are mentioned in the third chapter. Like the apostle Paul—who bragged incessantly about his co-workers—Nehemiah was not afraid to share the spotlight. You must make a habit of empowering and praising the people God has called to serve with you.

5. You must be humble. The governors prior to Nehemiah were oppressive and greedy. They demanded feasts and royal treatment, but Nehemiah set a new example by living frugally (5:14-19). Leaders today must reject the attitude of entitlement that has been practiced by many of our predecessors who thought Christian leadership was about limousines, tailored suits and luxury accommodations. Nehemiah set a new trend when he said, “I did not demand the governor’s food allowance” (5:18). Let’s model servanthood.

6. You must have a practical plan. When the king asked Nehemiah what he wanted to do about Jerusalem, he didn’t hesitate to whip out his blueprint. He needed money, specific building supplies and official letters of authorization. And when Nehemiah got to Jerusalem, he did a detailed assessment of the damages. He knew how much work was required. If God has called you to build a church, a ministry or a business, a heavenly burden isn’t enough. Count the cost, make a budget and plan your steps.

7. You must be a fighter. As soon as Nehemiah set foot on Jerusalem’s soil, Sanballat and Tobiah began their demonic campaign to stop him. When you volunteer for any spiritual assignment, you automatically become a target. If you want a life without trials, difficulties and spiritual warfare, don’t attempt something big for God. The warfare was so intense for Nehemiah that the people had to carry swords in one hand and tools in the other (4:15-17). Good leaders are multitaskers: They know how to fight and build at the same time.

8. You must be committed to God’s Word. Nehemiah 8:4 is the only reference in the Bible to a pulpit—and it was built so that the regathered Jews could hear God’s Word read aloud in the restored city. Good leaders give the Word the platform it deserves—and they don’t rewrite the message to fit their culture or distract people from the Word with religious sideshows. Always make God’s truth the main event—and discipleship your primary mandate.

God, give us leaders like Nehemiah! In this crazy season of apostate denominations, backslidden preachers and clueless Christians, let’s commit ourselves to build God’s way.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of the Mordecai Project (themordecaiproject.org). You can follow him on Twitter at @leegrady. He is the author of The Holy Spirit Is Not for Sale and other books.

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