Men, Your Wives Want You to Take Initiative in These 5 Common Areas | Subtle Ways Many Dads Unintentionally Disparage Their Daughters - New Man

November 10, 2017

Men, Your Wives Want You to Take Initiative in These 5 Common Areas How does showing initiative help our relationships? Subtle Ways Many Dads Unintentionally Disparage Their Daughters Dad, your daughter needs a lot of encouragement from you. ADVERTISEMENT Understanding the Most Misunderstood Man Who Ever Lived Understanding Him leads to true freedom. 10 Practical Tips for Protecting Your God-Given Purity So, what's your line of protection against the enemy's attack? ADVERTISEMENT Secrets to Finding Pleasure in God's Everyday Gifts to You Each person experiences enjoyment in unique ways. Learn how to find what works for you.

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During The Trump Era, Will Men Finally Start Acting Like Men Again? Posted: 24 Jan 2017 Michael Snyder THE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE BLOG

During The Trump Era, Will Men Finally Start Acting Like Men Again? Posted: 24 Jan 2017   Michael Snyder  THE ECONOMIC COLLAPSE BLOG One of the primary reasons why Donald Trump is in the White House today is because he didn’t act like a typical wimpy politician during the campaign.  The American people were hungry for someone who is strong, someone who is a fighter and someone who will stand up for what he believes.  In other words, they wanted a man and not a wimp.  Yes, Donald Trump has done and said some things that are very regrettable over the years, but many Americans were willing to overlook those imperfections because at least he was willing to go to battle.  Now that he is president, will he inspire millions of other men to finally start acting like men again? Too many men today would rather go to the spa than pick up a shovel. Too many men today speak of the need for “safe spaces” and “trigger warnings”. Too many men today are living in a state of suspended adolescence and are putting off marriage and family indefinitely. Too many men today are more likely to be called a “snowflake” rather than a “warrior”. In an absolutely remarkable article that was published earlier this week, author Todd Starnes made some keen observations about modern “men”.  The following is a short excerpt… In today’s reengineered version of manhood, guys no longer have friends – they have bromances and they settle disputes by hugging it out. Men’s magazines are now filled with articles like, “Should a Man Show Nipple?” and “What Men Know about Wearing Eyeliner.” In America today, boys generally don’t do as well as girls in school.  And young women are far more likely to go to college than young men.  In fact, we have almost gotten to the point where 60 percent of the students in our colleges are women. And when they leave school, young men are far more likely to move back in with their parents than young women are.  In a previous article, I noted that the percentage of Americans in the 18 to 34-year-old age bracket that are living with their parents is now the highest that it has been in 75 years.  If young men were living independently at the same rate that young women are, this crisis wouldn’t even exist. And the truth is that young women are looking for young men that are willing to be independent.  A few years ago, Todd Starnes “conducted an unscientific poll to determine what the average American woman looks for in a man”, and this is what he discovered… 1. Has a job; 2. Drives a pickup truck; 3. Uses the bathroom standing up; 4. Eats meat; 5. And is willing to carry them out of a burning building. In other words — they want the kind of man made in God’s image — not the image of some effeminate intellectual stuffed in skinny jeans sipping chai tea with his pinky finger extended. And a more scientific survey that was conducted a few years ago found that 75 percent of all American women do not have any interest in dating unemployed men. Women want men that will love them, protect them and provide for them. Unfortunately, those kinds of men are being systematically demonized in our society today.  To the liberal mind, the “traditional man” has come to represent “male oppression” that must be eradicated at all cost. This may sound strange to you, but this is the kind of philosophy that is being pounded into the minds of impressionable young adults at colleges and universities all across the nation.  And some of these impressionable young adults buy into this philosophy to a frightening degree. For example, one very prominent feminist blogger has actually called for the eradication of all men… A controversial video blogger has suffered a social media backlash after a video of her suggesting that the male species be wiped out – including babies – re-surfaced. US vlogger Jenny McDermott, 33, made the bizarre ‘kill all men’ content in July last year and posted it on her YouTube channel. The 33-year-old, who’s Twitter bio describes her as a secular humanist and trans loving feminist, rants in the short video that she’s ‘sick of being a baby factory that produces more men, that in the future will subjugate me.’ Someone might want to tell her that the human race would cease to exist without men, because apparently she hasn’t thought that far ahead. But while McDermott may be on the outer fringe, the truth is that she is just a very small part of a very powerful “anti-male” movement in this country. If you can believe it, at this point even some divinity schools are telling their professors not to use male pronouns for God… Two prominent divinity schools have instructed their professors to use gender-neutral language when referring to God. According to National Review, the divinity schools at Duke and Vanderbilt Universities have told their faculty to give “consistent attention to the use of inclusive language, especially in relation to the Divine,” in an effort to be more “inclusive” and to “mitigate sexism.” Of course if men want to be respected, they need to start acting like gentlemen instead of like deranged animals. I often quote from two different surveys when I talk about the state of men in our country.  One of those surveys found that 64 percent of all Christian men in America watch pornography at least once a month, and another survey found that 68 percent of all Christian men in America look at it “on a regular basis”. That is not how men are supposed to behave. A gentleman is self-controlled, patient, strong, temperate and willing to make sacrifices for others. But how many men could be described that way today? In the old days, men dedicated themselves to God, family and country, but today many men appear to be self-obsessed narcissists that are constantly chasing whatever they think will make them feel good in the moment. If we want to make America great again, then men (and women) need to start dedicating themselves to becoming great again on an individual level. So ultimately the fate of this nation is not going to be determined by any politician. Rather, the fate of this nation is going to be decided by what goes on inside our own hearts.

Pornography: Not Innocent Fantasy Island - KENNY LUCK/EVERY MAN MINISTRIES CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Pornography is no innocent fantasy. (Flickr )

Pornography: Not Innocent Fantasy Island

 1/6/2016 KENNY LUCK/EVERY MAN MINISTRIES  charisma magazine

One of the most popular TV shows of back in the 1970s was Fantasy Island, starring Ricardo Montalban playing the role of Mr. Roarke, a suave, tuxedo-clad host who, along with his sidekick, Tattoo, greeted his visitors by proclaiming: "Welcome, welcome to Fantasy Island."

Let's talk about Fantasy Island.

The storylines, weaving extravagant fantasies of the newly arrived quests, didn't always work out the way they wanted. In fact, their fantasies actually brought them back to reality, making them want their reality more than the fantasy. This "aha" moment is sorely needed by male guests visiting the new fantasy islands of today.  

Someone has to talk about this idea of fantasy because it has become an epidemic—not only here in the United States, but globally. I'm not talking about innocent fantasies, childhood dreams, like the Disneyland fantasies. I'm talking about millions—more likely billions—of men chasing manly fantasies, mainly pornography and extramarital sex.

These guys are experiencing the same thing guests on the fictional show did—the promise of fantasy only delivers a moral hangover, a cheap release and a numbing shame that exposes his lack of character. The "aha" in front of today's Fantasy Islanders is resolving to accept our responsibilities as men and reject the double life of Fantasy Island.

Today, pornography revenues in the United States exceed the revenue of ABC, CBS and NBC combined. Indeed, the revenue of the pornography industry is larger than the revenues of Apple, Amazon, Google, eBay, Microsoft, Netflix and Yahoo!—combined.

This fantasy problem is so large that it's not only plaguing men globally, but it's creeping into the lives of our mothers, our wives, our sisters, our daughters—even our grandchildren. There is nothing more obviously evident than the New York Times best-selling trilogy called Fifty Shades of Grey, three books which chronicle the dark secrets of Anastasia, a college student who desires to be dominated by Christian, a tortured man who has particular sexual tastes (fantasies). The caricature of "Christian" is stunning. He is so lost and needs so much help. Where have all the good men gone?

These disturbing cultural trends should hit every Christian man in the mouth and reboot his moral compass as this country heads toward moral, spiritual and cultural implosion.

But I'm not discouraged. As we go through our series called Fantasy Island, you will embrace reality and reject fantasy. We can turn things around. We need, however, to turn to God for spiritual direction and revival. Our reality is the reality of God's glory: His redemption, His love for us.

Men, let God bless you! Pray about your decisions to embrace reality or live a life of fantasy. The choice is yours, and God is waiting for you to make the decision.

Join Every Man Ministries

Fantasy ranges from innocent to indecent. From Disney dreams to dark diversions, it is the wallpaper of popular culture offering every man an alternative relief or escape from reality. Why is fantasy so powerful? Why is it so destructive on so many levels? Most importantly, what does fantasy reveal about a man's relationship to reality? Watch this eye-opening session with men's expert and Pastor Kenny Luck and learn why fantasy is an island. 

Try the 30-day Free Trial and sign up for the Every Man Ministries Newsletter. 

Kenny Luck is the president and founder of Every Man Ministries. As the former men's pastor at Saddleback Church in California and current leadership pastor at Crossline Community Church, Kenny has found the proven way to improve men's ministries around the world. Sleeping Giant is this blueprint, and gives men the tools they need to lead and understand their own men's ministry. Watch Kenny's teachings at everymanministries.com and start your men's group today!

Follow Every Man Ministries now on Facebook, Twitter (@everymm), and YouTube.

For the original article, visit everymanministries.com.

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A Nugget for Living Life - "Men are men. Women are women..: by Steve Martin

"Men are men.

Women are women.

Simple as that.

Don’t get confused.

It's a basic of life."

A Nugget for Living Life

Steve Martin

Love For His People, Inc.

P.O. Box 414

Pineville, NC 28134

loveforhispeople.blogspot.com

loveforhispeople@gmail.com

9 Things Men Seek at Church

8/28/2014 STEVE SONDERMAN  CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Men, what are you looking for in your local church? (Lightstock file photo)

There is no easy answer, but in this article I would like to provide some basic principles that will help you develop a male-friendly church. The overriding principle is simply this:

The environment you develop is more important than the events or programs you put on. A man is looking for an environment that is consistent with who he is as a man and a place where he feels comfortable belonging and becoming the man God wants him to be.

1. Relevance. Most men in our society today do not see the value of going to church because it is not speaking their language, and it is not addressing the issues they face. For example, a recent survey showed that 92 percent of church-going men have never heard a sermon on the subject of work. The unspoken message is: What you do for 60 to 70 hours a week does not relate to what you do on Sunday mornings. The most important issues for men are their work, family, marriage, sexuality and finances—and rarely are these addressed from the pulpit today? Some of the key questions men are asking are:

• What is true masculinity?
• What is success?
• How do I deal with guilt feelings?
• What is male sexuality?
• Is purity possible today?
• What does a healthy marriage look like?
• How can I raise my children to be successful?
• How can I be a man of integrity in the workplace?
• How can I be a leader in the home, church, workplace and world?
• What is my purpose in life?

2. To be involved in a cause greater than themselves. Men want to be involved in something driven by a compelling vision. Men want to know what hill the church is climbing, where we are going, what we are about. The church has the greatest and most far-reaching mission on Earth, and we should not be bashful about challenging the men of our congregation with it.

3. A shot at greatness. I have never met a man who wanted to be a failure or a loser. Men want to win. They want to be heroes. They want to come in first. Unfortunately, it seems the church today wants nice men, not great men.

4. To be challenged. Men tend to view the world around them as something to be overcome or conquered. It's high time we told them they do not have to check their competitive drive at the door of the church. If they are seeking risk, adventure, change, competition and expansion—tell them how to find it within the mission of Jesus.

5. Action. Men today are looking for something to do; they do not like sitting around and theorizing about the 27 views of the second coming of Christ! Men measure themselves by productivity and gain a portion of self-image based on what they do. Their desire for adventure is often expressed in the desire to be on the solution side of things. Many churches today are in maintenance mode, rather than being missional.

6. Men are looking for leaders, and they want to be leaders. This principle is simple: Men do not follow programs, they follow men. They want to follow a bold, courageous, visionary leader. Establish an environment where strong leadership is attractive. Not only are men looking for a leader to follow, they want to become leaders themselves. They want to lead in their family, workplace, church, community and world. One of the things you can do is equip them to lead.

7. Fun. If men walk into a church and see a bunch of serious, stoic-looking people, shouldn't they wonder if Christianity really is a killjoy? The world is a serious place; men are looking to laugh and have fun to balance that reality. They love a good joke, funny story or movie. I encourage you to develop a ministry environment in which men have fun together.

8. Brothers. Most men have many acquaintances, but very few men have a good friend. According to statistics, the average man over 35 years old does not have one close friend. Men need teaching on how to develop and strengthen friendships and an environment where they can find genuine male friends.

9. Healing. Many are using socially unacceptable means to deal with their pain—making their work or their hobbies their life, misusing sex, drugs or alcohol. Unless these wounds and hurts are dealt with in a healthy way, they will never become the man that God wants them to be. They will never be able to have healthy relationships or move on from childish behavior.

I hope some of these insights from my own ministry to men will serve you well as you seek to minister more effectively to the men of your church and community.

Steve Sonderman is the associate pastor for men's ministry at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield, Wis., and the author of How to Build a Life-Changing Men's Ministry.

For the original article, visit men.ag.org.

Millions of Christian Women Shared This Article—Why? - Steve Strang

March 14, 2014 CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Steve Strang, Founder, Publisher

It happened around Valentine’s Day, when loving couples are supposed to be choosing gifts for one another. Instead, many were reading—and sharing—Lee Grady’s Fire in My Bones column entitled “10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry.” It went massively viral, shared nearly 2 million times on charismamag.com alone.

The question is, why?

As mentioned, Lee wrote the column the week of Valentine’s Day, so the timing may have had something to do with it. However, he had no idea 2 million people would read it and that nearly 1.5 million would share it.

I’ve known Lee for more than 30 years. I know he has a solid marriage. I know he mentors a lot of young men and that the subject of marriage often comes up. He’s definitely got God’s wisdom on the matter. But was it just his wisdom that caused the rush to share it far and wide?

At first my staff thought it had been picked up by secular sites in order to make fun of Christians. When it had been shared “only" 300,000 times, one of the editors emailed me and said, “I’m 90 percent sure it's a secular site driving this, given the few comments on our own site. It’s been difficult to track the real source because it’s on FB.”

Now we’re not so sure. The comments on the site are almost all from Christians. It’s as if there is a deep desire from Christians who are so disappointed in people due to addictions, divorce, compromised standards and so forth that they resonate with a father figure like Lee telling women things their dad or pastor should have told them.

Why else would it be shared so many times on Facebook? People making fun don’t really share items at that level. If you missed the article, you can read it here.

Lee confirmed most reactions came from Facebook when I asked him about the reaction. “No secular outfits contacted me, but many Christian groups did,” he said. “Also, I got tons of private messages, mostly from women wanting advice because they had married some of the men I warned women not to marry!”

Lee got a lot of requests after the first article came out, and a week later, he wrote “8 Women Christian Men Should Never Marry.” That article also went viral, but at a lower velocity—only 230,000 shares.

So it’s your turn. Chime in. Tell us what you think. Did you learn anything? Is Lee wrong? Or maybe you can answer the question I tried to answer here: Why did an article on the type of men Christian women shouldn't marry go viral with 2 million shares?

Steve Strang is the founder and publisher of Charisma. Follow him on Twitter at @sstrang or Facebook (stephenestrang).

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"The Father" - Ahava Love Letter (Steve Martin)

                

             “The Father” 

^“Therefore Jesus answered and was saying to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son also does in like manner. 

For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself is doing; and the Father will show Him greater works than these, so that you will marvel.” John 5:19-20 (NASB)

Dear family of friends,

Manhood, and particularly fathers, have taken an image beating in the American culture over the last 30 or more years. We have been made to look foolish, even stupid, on a regular basis. Any TV program that is popular reminds many of that nightly.

And honestly we have, in far too many cases, had it coming, for we have been out of the picture. Men, even as making up half of the population, have basically lost the role they were created to fulfill. They let it go, and now can’t seem to get it back. I share this from my man’s perspective.

Some of this action has been the result of what one Bible teacher in the 1970’s called the “renegade male” – we abdicated our role as fathers and husbands, concentrated far too much on our daily work, and let the family grow up without the proper presence of the husbands and fathers on the scene. “Let the women do it” has resulted in that – the women have done it. For that I am thankful for, but we have surely missed the absent husbands and fathers.

Our culture has thus extremely paid the price – men and women from my generation missed the instruction and correction that fathers were to give. Without that male model in their lives, our own children have now grown up, many with no father influence in their lives at all. Maybe they see Dad now and then, but it is as if they are just another man who they know little about, or receive any love from at all, other than a material gift or two at a birthday or holiday time.

In my recent regular morning Scripture reading, I have been in the Gospel of John (Yochanan was his Hebrew name, being a Jew.) The Holy Spirit (Ruach HaKodesh) has begun to open my eyes, and my heart, to the many times Jesus (Yeshua) spoke of His Father.

Jesus had a special relationship with His Father. Of course, being they are One from all eternity (which someday we will understand, once fully in their presence) there is no separation or distance between the two.

And yet, Jesus spoke, as quoted in John 5:19-20, that His earthly mission depended upon further knowing, hearing, following and learning from His Father. And as Yeshua did that, His Father clearly showed Him what to do, when to do it and how to do it.

You know, I want that relationship with my Father too. I long to be so close to knowing God the Father, that I can walk more confidently and boldly in the tasks He has given me to do. I want that same relationship that Jesus has with His Father, Who now is also my Father in heaven.

God the Father, the One who loves us so much that He gave us His Only Son, is committed to restoring that relationship with us. We may not have received the love, encouragement and ongoing nourishment from our human limited earthly father, but we certainly can now from our Heavenly One.

I want to get to know my Father more. I hope you do too.

Ahava to my family of friends,

Steve Martin

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Ahava Love Letter #83   “The Father”  ©2013 Steve Martin 

Date: In the year of our Lord 2013 (11/01/13 Friday at 5:30 am in Charlotte, NC)

All previous editions of Ahava Love Letter can be found on this Blog, and our newest website: Ahava Love Letters