GEN. JERRY BOYKIN: In These Troubled Times, Where are the Men?

Lt. Gen. (Ret.) William G. “Jerry” Boykin serves as Family Research Council’s executive vice president

June 21, 2020 CBN News 

COMMENTARY

On May 25, 2020, I watched the beginning of a great American tragedy. As the nation began to open up after the long COVID-19 lock-down a horrifying incident involving a rogue cop took the life of a 46-year-old African-American man named George Floyd. Three other officers watched and did nothing. And chaos erupted nationwide.

As I watched these events unfold, with abandoned police stations, burned-out business, frenzied rampaging, looting, vandalism, and more death, one question kept repeating itself in my mind: Where are the men?

Were they hiding behind some “cause” or misguided notion that the situation was none of their business? Were they simply going along with the crowd, with no sense of right and wrong? When did men stop providing protection, guarding defenseless victims, and taking responsibility for their communities?

I can’t help but question whether radical feminist grievances about “toxic masculinity” have caused men to stop fulfilling their God-given roles in our society. Along similar lines, as I watched that tide of angry young men shattering glass, stealing and looting, I wondered just how many of them grew up in fatherless homes.

Tragically, in today’s America, too many children are born never knowing who their father is. Others see their daddy pack up and leave while they are still young kids; they grieve for him and miss him terribly. Some fathers are in jail; others are addicted; still, others are too busy making money to be bothered with their own sons and daughters.

There are so many fatherless families and everyone is a tragedy.

As a Christian, I believe that the Bible – from Joshua to Jesus – provides a clear mandate for masculine roles and responsibilities. And thanks to my own devoted, loving father and to my military background, I’ve had exceptional opportunities both to be compliant and to command, to protect while sometimes paying the price, to be inspired and encouraged by those with whom I served.

But today too many boys have never in their lives been affirmed by men. They’ve had no man to set a proper example, to help establish values in the home, or to love and nurture them. Instead, they’re raised on the internet and by the violence of video games. If there had been more fathers who understood the importance of their role, and the power of a father’s blessing, I am convinced that could have prevented some of the tragedies we’re facing in today’s cities across America.

What could those fatherless boys have learned from a godly father about being a man?

It’s true that men and women are equal, but it is also true that they are unquestionably different. Once a young man understands that there is a uniquely God-given role for him to fulfill in his lifetime, that sacred role will likely soon become his transcendent cause.

And I believe that having a transcendent cause – including the distinct obligations and responsibilities being a man entails – will literally separate the men from the boys.

First of all, men are intended to be providers. This certainly includes financial responsibility for any others who rely on him. But it also includes the other forms of provision such as values, principles and vision, and direction. And perhaps above all else, being a provider means thinking of someone besides yourself.

Men are also meant to be instructors, mentors, and role-models to their families and their communities. A nation of “Sheep without shepherds” is another symptom of our present disorder. But real men are leaders, especially in chaotic situations. To borrow a military term, men are meant to be chaplains, offering wisdom and spiritual guidance in the home, school, office, and community.

At the same time, men are also supposed to be defenders – of course, this applies to protecting those closest to them, and those who cannot defend themselves. The Bible says, “Defend the weak and the fatherless, uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”  Psalm 82:3-4 NIV

A real man will never stand by and watch while others are victimized or abused. The “bystander effect” is a sad product of our self-centered society. Worse yet is the pretense that participating in criminal activity, theft, and violence is an act of righteous defiance. NO! It is not.

Calling in the National Guard wouldn’t be necessary if men were doing their job.  It’s time men take up their biblical mandate, which has been ordained by their creator. That is their mission, no matter what their color, nationality, station in life, upbringing, or education. And I believe that once men step up and carry out their God-given role, a new vision can be cast and brought forth, restoring a civil and prosperous America for all.

Lt. Gen. (Ret.) William G. “Jerry” Boykin serves as Family Research Council’s executive vice president and is the author of Man to Man: Rediscovering Masculinity in a Challenging World. He spent 36 years in the Army, serving his last four years as deputy undersecretary for intelligence in the Department of Defense.

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GLORY MANIFESTED - Morris E. Ruddick

Morris Ruddick

GLORY MANIFESTED (c) Morris E. Ruddick "The glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one." John 17:22-23 This segment of Jesus' high priestly prayer taps a very key aspect of walking out a call of God: abiding in Him. While some conclude from these verses to make unity the goal, unity is not the goal, but rather the fruit. Unity will be the fruit of abiding. It likewise is not a conformity type of unity, but rather being so in-sync with the Lord and His heart, that those truly abiding in Him will simply be on the same page within the individuality of their spheres and callings. "In that day you will know that I am in My Father and you in me and I in you." John 14:19 As a young disciple, one of my two primary mentors shared about a time when he was a part of a camp meeting retreat. As those attending the gathering sought the Lord, he recounted how there came a tangible consciousness of God's presence. As they continued seeking Him, he described something as like a smoke that descended on them which brought an even greater awareness of God's presence. For three days, this holy presence was so strong that the only thing anyone wanted was to bask in His presence. What had been scheduled, comparatively, no longer had any significance. "The temple was filled with smoke from the glory of God and from His power, and no one was able to enter." Rev 15:8 What took place was a manifestation of God's glory, triggered by hungry hearts, in unison, from steadfastly seeking Him. The need is to bring this consciousness of His presence into our everyday lives. The influence of this mentor's passion resonated deeply with us, as my wife and I had come to faith as a result of a very real and insatiable spiritual hunger that pervaded our workplaces and neighborhoods. It was during the early days of the Charismatic revival. Everyone was talking about Jesus and the Holy Spirit. People would spontaneously gather together just to pray and seek God. Those affected were acutely aware of what they were hearing from God. The miraculous became commonplace. Many experienced dramatic and life-changing answers to prayer. It was a time of abandoning yourself to God. Nothing carried any greater priority. "The house of the LORD was filled with a cloud, so that the priests could not stand to minister because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the house of God." 2 Chron 5:13-14 These times describe when the glory manifests and is imparted, as in John 17 Jesus imparted the glory He had received to His disciples. Such times trigger God-directed change and the restoration of truths and mysteries that have been squeezed out by the cares of life and the religious precepts of men. Abiding in Him overcomes the seductions of worldly cares and the precepts of men. Abiding in Him and being stewards of His glory carries a cost with parameters that open the path into the supernatural, into the realm of angels and His presence. The Parameters Jesus warned that wielding this power would not only impact the spiritual climate, but would bring tribulation. David understood this. "Many are they who say of me, "There is no help for him in God." But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head." Psalm 3:3 Becoming the source of changing the spiritual climate requires more than zeal to weather the opposition and backlash, which can, in the natural, seem impossible. Yet, that is just the point. With God, in Him all things are possible. The pathway in which His glory manifests was described by Jesus as narrow and difficult. This pathway is the foundation for the mandate for change and restoration for this hour. It requires consistent spiritual maintenance, the continual renewal of our mind-sets, operating beyond ourselves, producing fruit that abides and tapping the generational bridges. Spiritual Maintenance. Abiding is a lifetime process. Spiritual maintenance of personal prayer and a consistent washing of God's word must be an ongoing priority. It requires discipline and it requires sacrifice. Personal maintenance will be found to be progressive, with its intensity directly linked to one's spiritual maturity. One's spiritual maturity will be demonstrated by the fruit. The fruit will be evidenced by the level of change being wielded by the mantle. Regular, personal, quality time with the Lord is not an option. Jesus spent entire nights alone in prayer. Many stress the importance of a well-organized prayer-shield. I don't disagree. However, the Lord once let me know that regardless of the number of prayers I mobilize through others, that my exploits would never exceed the level represented by my own prayers. A prayer-shield serves to augment this baseline. Renewed Mind-Sets. Consistent time with the Lord influences our thinking. We need our thinking and attitudes constantly renewed and aligned according to God's heart and priorities. Our thinking determines how we believe and how we act in faith. Mind-sets go deep. While they include our attitudes, which are the determinants of our behavior, they go beyond our attitudes. They also include the often very subtle cultural predispositions that the Bible refers to as iniquities. The input from the world pollutes our thinking and cultural tendencies, True people of faith do not conform to the world's way of thinking or doing. One of the biggest challenges God's people have faced over the centuries has been the lure to be like everyone else, to be accepted. One of the first premises of leadership is that real leadership can never be achieved through acceptance or being liked. Leadership has its foundations in honor, trust and respect. Our identities in God are distinctive. We are called to be leaders, each within our own spheres. The word of God tells us that we have been chosen to demonstrate God's reality. That's the first order of things. It requires mind-sets aligned with God's. That forms the basis of one's calling in God. Beyond Ourselves. In the final analysis, it is not about us. That's why we need our mind-sets continually being renewed. Piercing the veil beyond self is the place Jesus sought for His disciples. For Peter, it took a final word from the Lord after Jesus' resurrection for Peter to begin walking in that place that the Lord saw in Peter when He first met him and discerned His destiny. Years ago, during a time alone seeking the Lord, the Lord told me: "Morris, you're too introspective." What the Lord was telling me had nothing to do with getting our attitudes in line with His truth and priorities. Instead it gave focus to a Western mantra of self-improvement that goes beyond this level of alignment. Being too introspective can become a fine-line distraction and illusion that distorts the balance of our callings. Walking out a call of God requires humility. Humility is the recognition that we can't, but He can. Humility is a constant dependence on Him. Humility is the realization that a significant part of the "cleanup" is God's prevue and our response needs to faithfully hold fast to Him, seeking Him and being "doers of the word." It's learning to walk with God with a purity of heart that is beyond ourselves. Business people tend to be doers. For those with callings like Joseph and Daniel and Peter, it means piercing the veil and flowing in a place beyond our human capabilities. It's not what we can do for God, but rather what we allow the Lord to do through us. That's the essence of the greater sacrificial love that Jesus modeled. Fruit that Abides. Jesus made it very clear that we would be known, not by our activity, but by the fruits from our activity. Bearing fruit is a strong part of Jesus' message. It is the result of flowing in the Spirit according to our gifts. Bearing fruit that remains transfers the anointing and calling to those being ministered to. The glory will come when we are abiding and consistently finding our life-source in Him. Bearing fruit that abides will come from our lives operating in that place beyond ourselves, in Him. "If you abide in Me and my words abide in you, you will ask what you will and it will be done for you." John 15:7 The Generational Bridge. Among the mysteries being restored in this day is the generational bridge. The generational bridge is more than mentoring and passing the baton to the next generation, although that is certainly an important part. The generational bridge involves mantles, the callings that transcend that of an individual and are sparked and fulfilled through generational bridges. Joseph the Patriarch was the fourth generation from His great-grandfather Abraham. From the promises and mantle given to His great-grandfather, Joseph not only brought an incredible fullness to this mantle, but he set the stage for what would be the next generational bridge, the alignment of which would be actuated by Moses. We have reached a time in which there has come a convergence that is beyond the current generation. We catch a glimmer of this convergence from the description in Hebrews of the great cloud of witnesses. It is a time when not only do generations pave the way for one another, but there is an added dimension where anointed members of connecting generations are working together and bringing a dimension seldom seen operating in days past. In short, it is a time when the anointings of Abrahams, Isaacs and Jacobs begin operating together and sparking new dimensions. As we abide in Him and apply the parameters of this pathway, these connected anointings will serve as three-fold cords that trigger supernatural change and restoration. The Mandate for Change and Restoration Jesus came to raise the standard. He raised the bar. He reset the spiritual default to conform to God's heart and priorities. Resetting priorities in this way releases the mantle of fire of God's glory to bring change and restoration. "He who speaks from himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him." John 7:18 With the glory Jesus imparted to His followers came the authority to reestablish God's order in the midst of a world masked and ruled by disorder. "I came to bring fire to the earth and how I wish it were already kindled, but I have a baptism to be baptized with and how distressed I am until it is accomplished." Luke 12:49-50 The fire that Jesus had kindled manifested significantly following the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Scripture describes it as a time when great fear (of God) came upon all the church and to as many who were exposed to and were hearing about the supernatural manifestations happening. It was a time marked by the consciousness of His presence in everyday life. Simultaneously, it was a time of great spiritual backlash. Stephen and John's brother James were martyred. Peter was imprisoned, yet was supernaturally delivered as the saints faithfully prayed. Angelic manifestations and miracles were common. "Now the angel of the Lord stood by him and a light shown in the prison and the chains fell off his hands. Then the angel said to him, follow me. So he followed him, but did not know that what the angel was doing was real. When they were past the first and second guard posts they came to the iron gate, that leads to the city, which opened of its own accord and immediately the angel departed from him." Acts 12: 7-10 Change and amazing things will result when God's glory manifests. It incorporates the power that defeated death and the grave. It brings change that aligns and restores God's ancient truths and covenants with Abraham, Moses and David. "Thus says the Lord: Stand at the crossroads and look. Then ask for the ancient paths where the good way lies. Then walk in it and you will find rest for your souls." Jer 6:16 Getting the abiding factor and priorities right sets the stage for the glory to manifest. It is the foundation for the authority needed to bring change and restoration. "The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works." John 14:10 It is the fine line of our walk with Him for this hour. "So, open the gates, so that all who are righteous may enter, those who have remained faithful. The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in You. For in You we have an everlasting Rock. The way of the righteous is level and smooth. O Upright One, make the path of the righteous straight. While following the way of your judgments, we have eagerly waited for You. At night my soul longs for You. Indeed my spirit seeks you diligently. For when the earth experiences Your judgments, the inhabitants of the world learn righteousness." Isa 26:2-3, 7-10 ___________________________________________________ Morris Ruddick has been a forerunner and spokesman for the call of God in the marketplace since the mid-90s. As founder of Global Initiatives Foundation and designer of the God's Economy Entrepreneurial Equippers Program, Mr. Ruddick imparts hope and equips economic community builders where God's light is dim in both the Western and non-Western world. He is author of "The Joseph-Daniel Calling;" "Gods Economy, Israel and the Nations;" "The Heart of a King;" "Something More;" "Righteous Power in a Corrupt World;" and "Leadership by Anointing," which address the mobilization of business and governmental leaders called to impact their communities with God's blessings. They are available in print and e-versions from www.Amazon.com, www.apple.com/ibooks andwww.BarnesandNoble.com. Global Initiatives Foundation (www.strategic-initiatives.org) is a tax-exempt 501 (c) 3 non-profit whose efforts are enabled by the generosity of a remnant of faithful friends and contributors whose vision aligns with God's heart to mobilize the persecuted church to be the head and not the tail. Checks on US banks should be made out to Global Initiatives and mailed to PO Box 370291, Denver CO 80237 or by credit card athttp://strategicintercession.org/support/ Likewise, email us to schedule a seminar for your congregation on the wisdom the persecuted church has for the West or on anointing the creative. 2015 Copyright Morris Ruddick -- sign@strategicintercession.org Reproduction is prohibited unless permission is given by a SIGN advisor. Since early 1996, the Strategic Intercession Global Network (SIGN) has mobilized prophetic intercessors and leaders committed to targeting strategic-level issues impacting the Body on a global basis. For previous posts or more information on SIGN, check:http://www.strategicintercession.org

Morris Ruddick Global Initiatives Foundation www.strategic-initiatives.org www.strategicintercession.org Global Initiatives is a 501 (c) 3 tax-exempt ministry

Rapid Increase For Those New in Christ - Darren Canning

"Rapid Increase! Healers, Prophets, Dream Interpreters, Seers Receiving a Double Portion"

Darren Canning, Ontario, Canada

The Elijah List

Rapid Increase For Those New in Christ

In a recent dream, I saw that there is a new anointing rising in the earth in this hour in order to bring in the harvest. God is about to teach people to walk in the gifts in the spirit at a very rapid pace. I see people who are "new to Christ" learning to fly in the things of the spirit quickly, because they will be aligned to Godly mentors who will teach them quickly.

This will be like on-the-job training in the things of the spirit learning to operate in supernatural ways. God is going to bypass the normal learning cycle and even train people through dreams and visions.

This is the hour of Ezekiel 37 when the army of God is being resurrected from dry dead bones. 

Those that are about to rise in the army are not even aware that the army exists, but arise they will into greater destiny than they ever imagined possible.

Let Them Join Our Flight

I saw in this dream that there was a young person that started to fly alongside of me. I was moving very quickly in the spirit, flying from city to city. I was operating by faith as I flewbetween cities. The person next to me said that the gate to the city is not opened, so you will need to slow down, but in the spirit I knew we didn't have to slow down because the gate would open as we got near to it. (Photo via Pixabay)

We were flying side-by-side, and as we came to the city a glass door opened before us and we flew quickly into that city. We then began to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit in a way that I personally had not operated before. There was a young lady in that dream who was an aspiring actress. Because of disappointment she was not actually acting. She was living below her potential because depression came against her. She was far from Christ and banqueting at the world's table.

In my heart I was trying to get to as many people as I could in order to get the message of Christ to them. This young girl and those sitting with her, mocked the message of Christ when I approached them; but then I began to tell her things that only she and God knew, and as I did something shifted in her mindset. I told her that she would have been in the movies now if she had listened to the advice that one director had given to her a while back. She looked at me shocked and then began to listen to the message of Christ that we preached.

The person flying with me was learning as we walked together. I know that in this hour that many of us who have been in the things of the spirit for some time will be taking responsibility for training those that are young in the things of the spirit, but these ones will actually learn to fly by being with us. Those of us who have exercised our faith will have many people who will want to learn from us and we must let them join us in our flights.

We don't have to slow down for them. We don't even have to worry about them. They will keep up with us because the Holy Spirit is guiding them to us and teaching them to fly like us. All we have to do is be open to the possibility that God has them coming to us, and when they do just let them hangout and ask questions. There will be an impartation in the process of mentoring. (Photo of Darren Canning)

They will learn to fly in the same way we do. They will also have gifting that we don't have and will teach us a thing or two. God is uniting the army in this hour. Get ready for expansion on your left and right.

Expansion and Giant Steps For the Kingdom

Isaiah 54:2-3 says, "Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities."

This is what the Lord is saying: Those of you who have ears to hear listen to what the Spirit is saying. Do not fear the finances, do not fear rejection, do not fear fear itself, because you are about to take giant steps for the Kingdom sake.

A few weeks ago I had another dream. This is a season where people are being upgraded into new anointings and mantles. Even with the passing of men and women who have gone before us, there is a transfer taking place between generations. People in their 20s and 30s are about to take their place in the Kingdom.

God is taking your old shoes and releasing new shoes in this hour. People will notice the increase of anointing upon your life. There will be an increase in the healing and prophetic anointing. You will walk in it with greater ease. (Photo via Pixabay)

The Lord showed me in that vision that He is releasing many spiritual blessings over those who are ready to be raised to the next level. This new season will be very exciting for those in-tune with the things of the Holy Spirit. Get ready for a double portion. Even as Elisha received a double portion of Elijah's anointing (2 Kings 2:9-16), the next generation of healers, prophets, dream interpreters and seers are receiving a double portion.

You will move like Philip did, releasing the good news to many places (Acts 8:39). You will be like the man from Macedonia who showed up in Paul's dream to tell him to come preach the Gospel in Macedonia (Acts 16:9). God is going to do this by His Spirit.

Isaiah 44:3-4: "For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out My Spirit on your offspring, and My blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams."

Seek the greater gifts and you shall walk in them. Get ready for a new dimension of glory. Get ready for a new shift. 

Even as we move between seasons in the natural we will be moving between seasons in the spirit. Watch for what occurs in the next number of months. With the abundant rains of spring will come a new thing in the earth in this hour.

Darren Canning
Ministry of Darren Canning

Email: darrencanning78@gmail.com
Website: darrencanning.org

Darren Canning is a revivalist preacher who travels throughout Canada, the United States, and the world. His heart is for revival and believes that God will touch lives deeply wherever he travels. He teaches on hearing the voice of God and experiencing the supernatural. Darren's life was touched powerfully through an encounter with God and he was transformed from an Atheistic lifestyle to a Believer in a moment. He has spent 14 years working for the government of Canada as an analyst specializing in transportation issues related to Aircraft Safety and Security. He is married to Lydia and is the father of 7 children. He believes that if others experience the God of the supernatural then they too will be changed forever.

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J. Lee Grady - 6 Mentors Who Can Help You Grow Spiritually

J. Lee Grady - 6 Mentors Who Can 

Help You Grow Spiritually

CHARISMA MAGAZINE March 2014

God doesn’t want us to live in isolation. I realized many years ago that I desperately need people in my life in order to fulfill my purpose. My parents invested in me, and so did teachers, coaches, employers, pastors, role models and good friends. I am not self-made, and neither are you. Any success we have achieved is the result of someone taking time to instruct, encourage or correct us. That’s humbling!

Mentorship is a basic biblical principle. The book of Proverbs opens with an exhortation to listen not only to parents but also to the “words of the wise” (Prov. 1:6, NASB). Moses mentored Joshua, Naomi mentored Ruth, and Elijah mentored Elisha. Jesus spent most of His time teaching a small group of disciples. One of those, Peter, discipled his spiritual son, Mark (1 Pet. 5:13), who in turn wrote the Gospel of Mark based on Peter’s testimony.

The message of Christ is best transmitted through the process of mentoring. But this art has been lost in today’s church—partly because of family breakdown and partly because our celebrity-obsessed culture values self-effort and instant results. Mentoring is too slow for most of us because we prefer the overnight sensation. God’s kingdom is built through a tedious process we don’t have the patience for.

Yet I believe we can reclaim biblical discipleship. In fact, I’m convinced the church is shifting radically back to God’s original plan as we reject the program-driven, impersonal, televangelistic one-man show of the past season. Everywhere I go I find people who are hungry for authentic relationships that can help them become team players and mature mentors.

I’ve found six types of mentors who have helped me in my spiritual journey:

1. Distant mentors. British author Charles Spurgeon died in 1892, but I consider him a mentor because I read his books often. The same is true of other dead authors such as Andrew Murray and A.W. Tozer. You don’t have to know a person to receive instruction from them. I’ve never met author Henry Blackaby, but his books, especially Experiencing God, have profoundly influenced me.

2. Occasional mentors. Brother Andrew, the founder of the Open Doors ministry, became a hero to me after I read his book God’s Smuggler in the 1970s. Then in 2004, I had the privilege of interviewing him in his home in Holland. Some of the things he said to me that day still ring in my ears. I may never visit him again, but he made an eternal investment in my life.

3. Supportive friends. A mentor does not have to be 20 years older than you. I have a close group of peers who sometimes gather from four states just to pray for each other. We call this group “the band of brothers.” I am constantly on the phone with a few of them. We share prayer requests and offer advice—and we aren’t afraid to step on each others’ toes if necessary. You need friends like that to survive life’s challenges.

4. Negative mentors. Not everyone you meet is a good example. I have sometimes encountered people in positions of leadership who had serious flaws. Some had prideful attitudes; others had poor people skills; a few had selfish agendas. Rather than allowing myself to become bitter or judgmental, I studied their behavior and determined to avoid doing the same things. I said to myself, “Let this be a lesson. That is not how to lead.”

5. Reverse mentors. You can also learn from younger people. I invest in a lot of Timothys, and they love to ask me for counsel. But I sometimes flip roles and pick their brains. One of the guys I’m mentoring, Alex, is a tech geek—so I know he will have the answer when I have a question about my computer, my smartphone or the latest app. I also get regular feedback from the guys I’m mentoring because I want to know if I’m communicating in a way that is relevant to their generation. Sometimes the best way to mentor is to ask questions!

6. Spiritual fathers and mothers. God has used many different mentors in my life, but there are some who invested in me in a very personal way for a long span of time. One of them, Barry St. Clair, invited me to a discipleship group when I was only 15. He taught me the basics of the Christian life during those Bible studies in his basement, and we have stayed connected for 40 years. This month the two of us are doing a conference together in Atlanta! Barry has been a role model, counselor and spiritual father most of my life, and his investment in me has now been passed on to dozens of others.

If you don’t have mentors, I urge you to find them. If you are fortunate to have been mentored, then pay forward what you have received—and invest in someone else.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma. You can follow him on Twitter at@leegrady. He is the author of 10 Lies Men Believe and other books.

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Mentors: The Good, The Bad, The Awful By Barbara Wentroble

Mentors: The Good, The Bad, The Awful By Barbara Wentroble

By Barbara Wentroble, Identity Network

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You think you've found a friend who will help you release your potential. But instead, you've attached yourself to someone who will stop at nothing to derail your hopes. Here's how to recognize the right and wrong kind of mentor.

Mary began baking cookies for her family and friends about 15 years ago and found great joy in it. Her cookies were so good that many people encouraged her to start her own cookie business. After just five years, her business is getting requests for shipments of cookies to areas all around the United States. Baking cookies for family and friends was easy, but cookies for people in distant places? "Could I do this? Is there anyone who can help?" she wondered. "How do I get my business to the next level? Is there someone to advise me?"

Lisa feels she has a call of God on her life. She remembers an encounter with the Lord when she was a teenager. Although that happened years ago, Lisa never forgot the commitment she made to God. She promised Him that she would preach His Word. Now, many years later, she senses it is time to act on her promise. How should I begin? she asks herself. I wish there was someone who could help me get started.

Mary and Lisa are like thousands of other women. They want to obey God and fulfill their God-given destinies, but they know they cannot do it alone. They need a mentor.

Many women find themselves in situations similar to what happened when I was just starting out in ministry. I needed help, but I didn't have anyone to turn to. Instead, I read every book I could find that I thought would help me. I attended any seminar or conference that seemed relevant. I devoured the Bible and any Bible study book I could find. I spent long periods of time in fasting and prayer.

There's a more effective way called "mentoring" or "coaching," which is the process of developing not only skills, but also character. A quality mentor is a respected and trusted counselor or guide. There's something in the mentor that the protégé wants for herself. The mentoree knows she is inexperienced and is confident that she will receive excellent benefits and empowerment from the mentoring relationship.

Throughout the Bible, we can find examples of mentoring relationships. Elisha was willing to forsake everything in order to follow Elijah, the powerful prophet of his time. Even when Elijah encouraged Elisha to remain behind while he was traveling to various cities, Elisha refused. He knew what he was after! He wanted God's resources found in Elijah.

As a result of Elisha's faithfulness to Elijah, Elisha received a double portion of the anointing. Elisha performed twice as many miracles in his life as Elijah did during his ministry.

The apostle Paul mentored young Timothy; the New Testament is full of the wisdom of Paul in his letters to Timothy. Where would we be in the church today without those writings? As a result of Paul mentoring Timothy, this rich inheritance has helped shape church history (see 1 Tim. and 2 Tim.).

Good mentors can affect future generations. Their lives are good role models for up-and-coming leaders.

Beware of Toxic Mentors

Finding the right mentor is not always easy. There are many instances where mentors have caused serious problems and brought pain to the ones they were mentoring. These mentors are what I call "toxic mentors" and can be like poison to the protégé. Following are some of the different types of toxic mentors.

The Busy Bee. This type of mentor reminds you that you are one in a multitude of people needing her help. She will fit you in only when it is convenient to her schedule. The mentoree fights feelings of "taking a number." Surely all the other people in the life of the Busy Bee are more important than she is!

Busy schedules are easy to understand. When possible, schedule phone calls and visits. This will help both parties.  However, emergencies do happen. What I have told the people I have mentored through the years is, "If you can't get help when you really need it, what good is the mentor?"

The Slave Master. The Bible speaks of leaders having the heart of a servant. The Slave Master interprets this as permission to use the mentoree as her personal slave. The mentoree ends up as a glorified "gopher" of sorts-running errands, babysitting, doing chores and other such tasks. Learning the Word of God and prayer can get lost in the many everyday jobs that the mentoree is expected to do. This dysfunction causes abusive "master/slave" relationships.

The Controller. The mentor wants to know about every decision and the location of the mentoree at all times. Permission must be granted for all decisions in life. Should the mentoree make a decision without permission, the mentor usually responds in a couple of different ways. Sometimes the mentor will lash out in anger. Anger is a powerful tool that keeps the protégé fearful and insecure. If anger doesn't work, the mentor will use guilt, condemnation and whatever else it takes to keep the mentoree under her control.

The Critic. This mentor finds fault with every leader and mentor she has known both past and present. All other mentors fall short of your mentor. Her gifts are the only perfect ones. Your gifts are very insignificant and could never measure up to hers. For your own protection, you need to stay under her mentoring and hope to someday arrive at the level where she is. Your calling and destiny in God's plan seem unobtainable.

Healthy Mentors

There are other types of toxic mentors, but the above list gives you an idea of what I am talking about. Not all mentors fall into those categories. Some mentors are exactly what each of us need in our lives. Following are some of the characteristics of good mentors.

Same Spiritual DNA. Medical experts have been using DNA testing for a number of years. They do this to determine who a person is and who their offspring are. Children have the same DNA as their parents and exhibit some of the same physical and emotional characteristics. A mentoree will usually have the same "spiritual DNA" as her mentor. They have the same vision, purpose in life, character and spiritual giftings.

Sees Your Potential. The mentor sees beyond where you are today. She sees things in you that you may not see in yourself. She sees things that your family, teachers and friends may not see.

The mentor does not limit you to your past. She sees not just where you have been, but where you are going. She is able to see the great potential in you and refuses to give up until that potential is released!

Jane came from a background of abuse, neglect and rejection. After giving her heart to Jesus, she sensed the Lord had a plan for her life, but the emotions and inner turmoil from the past haunted her. Jane loved to sing, but felt her voice was not as good as others. Besides that, she could never imagine herself being used by the Lord.

She attended many of the meetings where I was speaking and was so hungry for the Lord. I encouraged Jane simply to stand next to me while I ministered one-on-one at the end of my services.

Soon, she was ministering with me, giving individuals prophetic words. This began to build a confidence in Jane and after a period of time, I asked her to sing prophetically over the people I ministered to. How surprised she was when she discovered she could do that!

Today, Jane is used by the Lord to sing and prophesy. She releases a powerful, healing anointing as she ministers. Jane had a wonderful prophetic potential on the inside. She merely needed someone to pull on that potential until it was released!

Role Model. Do not look for perfection in a mentor; no one is perfect other than Jesus. However, there must be respect for the mentor. A mentor is a role model.

A mentoree should respect not only the gifts in the mentor, but also the character. How does the mentor handle times of difficulty, family life, finances? Answers to these questions will help you decide if a certain individual is the right mentor, the right role model for you.

Agreement. Both mentor and mentoree must agree on the mentoring process. Agree on the length of time for the mentoring. Agree that if the mentoring is not working for either party, freedom is to be released.

God has times and seasons on His calendar. We need to be willing to shift into a new season when the time for the last season has ended.

Many advantages are available in having a mentor. Usually the mentoree gets to do things faster than the mentor did. I want those I mentor to run faster in the Lord than I did and to accomplish more and do it with a higher level of excellence.

Finishing Strong

A good mentor will help you develop skills and character that will affect you for the rest of your life. A good mentor also will help you stay focused. It is so easy to want to do many things, but these distractions can keep us from fulfilling the plan of God for our lives.

Kim is a very creative person. She loves to spend time cooking, writing, composing music and decorating. The problem is that she often gets frustrated because she cannot get any one task completely done. Her mentor helped Kim learn how to prioritize and set goals.

With her goals identified and set in front of her, Kim learned how to prioritize her daily activities. Within just a few weeks, Kim ran into her mentor's office, ecstatic that she had accomplished more in the last month than she had in almost a year.

Oftentimes a mentor can help us see through the fog around us. They can see what we often cannot. Breaking some old lifestyles can propel us toward our destinies. It takes focus to stay on the path and to go where God is taking us.

Through the years, I have either heard about or witnessed many powerful ministry leaders who failed to finish their course well. The apostle Paul gave a strong admonition when he said,"Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win" (1 Cor. 9:24, NLT). Mentors will help a person to complete the journey the Lord has prepared and to finish strong.

My prayer is that you and I will be remembered for finishing strong. May someone say of us at the end of life that we fulfilled the purposes of God in our generation! (See Acts 13:36.)

Pray and ask the Lord to lead you to the right mentor. Set your heart on desiring to be a vessel of honor for Him.

Ask God to free you from the effects of any toxic mentors you may have had and to give you greater discernment. Thank Him for sending into your life someone who can help you finish your course. With God's help and the right kind of mentoring, you will successfully finish your race and receive all that He has for your life.

Barbara Wentroble

www.internationalbreakthroughministries.org

 

 

 

 

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