Happy Anniversary: Breaking the Generational Curse of Divorce - SHAWN A. AKERS CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Patty and me, Dec. 5, 1997. (Shawn and Patty Akers)

Happy Anniversary: Breaking the Generational Curse of Divorce

12/4/2015 SHAWN A. AKERS  CHARISMA MAGAZINE

Divorce is a generational curse that has haunted my family lineage. It takes more than two hands to count the couples on both sides—at least the ones of which I'm aware—who have been through the divorce ringer.

And yes, I can be counted among them.

But that is why I thank God every day for my wife, Patty. God has allowed us to break the generational curse of divorce on our family and bury it.

Patty is an incredible gift from God, and I'm tremendously grateful for her patience, her love and even her courage to put up with a wretch like me all of these years. It is my second marriage, and it has lasted for 18 years as of Saturday, Dec. 5. Where has the time gone?

I realize what many of you out there may be thinking. 1) By being divorced, you are breaking God's laws and committing adultery. Our readers have had a field day with this subject in past posts on charismamag.com, and I would hazard a guess that this one will draw a great deal of discussion as well. 2) How did you break the generational curse when you have been divorced yourself?

So, let me address both of the above thoughts:

First, indeed I am well aware of Matthew 5:31-32, when Jesus said, "It was said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

Indeed, Jesus never wavered on that point. There is no other scriptural reference to an acceptable divorce, save one. In 1 Corinthians 7:15-16, Paul writes, "But if the unbeliever departs, let that one depart. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases. God has called us to peace. ... For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

Despite my efforts for more than a year to keep our marriage together, my ex-wife told me in no uncertain terms—in a letter no less—that she wanted a divorce. At the time of our divorce, I suspected my ex-wife had duped me for five years about her faith in Christ. I have since learned from her family that my suspicions weren't unfounded.

Therefore, I "let the unbeliever depart." I was not bound in my case. That has since been confirmed in my heart not only by God, but also by evangelist Jimmy Evans, who, along with his wife, have headed the marriage ministry of Marriage Today for nearly 35 years.

Most likely, my only alternative to preserve the marriage would have been to deny Christ. That would have been much worse than a divorce.

This brings me question No. 2, "How did you break the generational curse when you have been divorced yourself?" Several years ago, Patty and I participated in a deliverance ministry at our church called The Cleansing Stream. It is an eight-week series of classes that prepares and disciples participants to receive healing and deliverance.

During the final weekend retreat, both Patty and I, through the power of the Holy Spirit, broke the generational curse of divorce in our families. It is an ugly word and situation that our children, Rachel and Joshua, won't ever have to endure. We trust in God's wondrous promises.

For help in breaking generational curses, read this great article from marriage ministry pastor Larry Huch.

I am far from perfect. Because of my behavior, there are many times Patty could have demanded my departure from our home. But thank God that Patty has put up with me and that God has transformed me so much in our 18 years together. Our marriage has been prophesied over—that it continually will be bent and stretched—sometimes to the limit—but that it will never break. I revel in that prophecy.

I know many people who suffer through the same generational curse. But it doesn't have to be that way, and we do not have to put up with Satan's lies and deceptions about our marriages. On our charismamag.com site, there are many great articles by strong ministry leaders in both the Spirit-Led Woman and New Man sections that can help bolster your marriage and fight for it, even in the hard times. Please peruse both sections and read the great wisdom put forth from these ministry leaders.

So Saturday isn't simply another anniversary for an "old married couple" such as Patty and me. It is a celebration of longevity and the celebration of a continually broken generational curse that will never again haunt my family. I may not be an expert on marriage, but 18 years is a long time and I might have learned a thing or two.

Thank you, Patty, for your love and patience, and for being such a wonderful wife. You need to hear that more often; and you will. Through God's grace, our life together will keep getting better and better each year. Happy Anniversary, babe.

And praise You, Jesus, for broken generational curses.

"As the bird by flitting, as the swallow by flying, so the curse without cause will not alight (will have no effect)" (Prov. 26:2).

And as I always like to say, "there is that." 

Shawn A. Akers is the online managing editor at Charisma Media. He is a published poet and published a story about Dale Earnhardt in NASCAR Chicken Soup for the Soul. You can read his blog here. To sign up for his newsletter, "Step Out of the Boat," and other Charisma newsletters, click here. You can also listen to his podcasts, the Javelin Sports Show, on the Charisma Podcast Network.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

NEW - Life in the Spirit is your Spirit-filled teaching guide. Encounter the Holy Spirit, hear God speak to you, and enjoy timeless teachings on love, mercy and forgiveness.LEARN MORE!

Why I'm Glad I Married a Celibate 'Tim Tebow' - LEILANI HAYWOOD Charisma Magazine

My husband pledged himself to purity when he was 21-years-old. (Reuters)

Why I'm Glad I Married a Celibate 'Tim Tebow'

12/1/2015 LEILANI HAYWOOD Charisma Magazine

Former Miss Universe and Miss USA Olivia Culpo broke up with NFL star Tim Tebow because he reportedly wouldn't have sex with her. This has made the headlines but I believe she has no idea what she just squandered. She may be beautiful but sexually clueless.

Here's why I think she is sexually clueless:

Marrying a man who pledges himself to purity is an incredible adventure after you say "I do." I know because I married one. My husband, Jerome Haywood, pledged himself to purity when he was a brand new Christian at 21-years-old. He was a sexually active college athlete and knew that this area could be a stumbling block. He was zealous in his newfound faith and wanted to seek the kingdom of God first in every area of his life.

Jerome was a track star training to be a part of the U.S. Olympics team. He stopped pursuing the Olympic dream because he thought it was an idol. He kept that pledge to purity until he met me at 35-years-old. When I say he kept the pledge to purity, let me add that I was his first date after 13 years of celibacy. He was handsome, young and funny. There was nothing wrong with my husband and his friends had tried to set him up on blind dates. But Jerome also pledged not to date until he met his future wife.

Marrying a man who pledges himself to purity says that you're more valuable to him then temporary gratification. We're going into our 23rd year of marriage and I'm so glad that he waited for me. Jerome's season of waiting showed me and my sons how valuable I am to him.

Marrying a man who pledges himself to purity says that you have no competition. I had no competition on our wedding night and he had no baggage from past sexual relationships. There were no old girlfriends that I had to compete with or memories of past sexual escapades. We started with a clean slate.

I applaud Tim Tebow for taking a stand in this area. He is an example, with my husband, to my sons of a man who can commit himself to purity in the face of a sexually-obsessed culture. Ms. Culpo may get 10 seconds of notoriety for calling out his virginity but she has no idea the example she's setting for her future children or the girls that are watching her now.

I thank God that there was a man like Tim Tebow. I didn't think they existed. But I believe they are a lot of men like Tim and Jerome who have committed themselves to their future wives by taking a stand for purity now.

When we got married, we gave ourselves to each other without reservation. Our relationship with God was the foundation and today that foundation has stood the test of financial storms and raising a child with special needs. Tim is setting a strong foundation for his future wife.

Whoever that special amazing woman is in Tim's future will be well worth the wait. My husband showed me how he valued me by waiting for me. I thank God that I married a "Tim Tebow."

Leilani Haywood is the online editor for SpiritLed Woman and frequent contributor to Charisma. She is putting the finishing touches on her first book, Ten Keys to Raising Kids That Love God. When she isn't trying to find her purse, she is writing her next book. Follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

NEW - Life in the Spirit is your Spirit-filled teaching guide. Encounter the Holy Spirit, hear God speak to you, and enjoy timeless teachings on love, mercy and forgiveness.LEARN MORE!

How to Recognize Signs of Insecurity in Your Wife - B.J. FOSTER/ALL PRO DAD CHARISMA NEWS

How to Recognize Signs of Insecurity in Your Wife

11/13/2015 B.J. FOSTER/ALL PRO DAD  charisma news

In my first year of marriage, I remember lying down on the couch and turning on the television, ready to unplug and relax. That's when my wife came in with a form she needed to fill out.

She started asking me questions about it. Slightly annoyed, I shot back one-word answers. That's when she got upset and told me she needed help. Escalating things, I shot back, "It's a simple form. Why would you need my help?" She ran out of the room, crying.

I was left there wondering what had just happened. I thought, "It's not like I'm smarter or know that stuff more than you. You don't need me. You got it. I just want to relax."

I couldn't understand why she was so adamant about my help or why she got so upset. Immediately, it came to my mind that when she was a kid she struggled with dyslexia. She overcame it, but the experience of not grasping things that seemed to come easily to her classmates left her with a deep insecurity.

The story she was telling herself was vastly different than what I was saying. She heard, "It's a simple form. You're stupid if you can't fill that simple form out. And yourstupidity is annoying me."

The signs of insecurity were there, but I missed them. If I had taken a moment to stop and consider why she wanted my help, it would have changed the entire evening. Her childhood wound was looking for my reassurance.

I could have provided healing, empowerment and security. Instead, I produced the opposite. Understanding our wives' insecurities will help us build them up rather than validate the untrue stories they tell themselves. Here are some common insecurities of our wives.

1. Measuring Up 

The Enjoli perfume commercial from the 1980s says, "I can hang the wash on the line, feed the kids, get dressed, pass out the kisses and get to work by 9 to 5. I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man."

Noted TED speaker Brene Brown while referencing that commercial said, "For women it's 'Do it all. Do it perfectly, and never let them see you sweat.'" She then went on to quip, "I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you it moved a lot of antidepressant and antianxiety meds." Women are mostly insecure about how they measure up, constantly comparing themselves with other women who they perceive as better. They feel as though they are never good enough. The following are different areas where this insecurity most prominently plays out.

"I'm not a good enough MOM." Many suffer from mom guilt. They feel like their kids got the short end of the stick because they are not good enough. The birthday party that isn't as good as their kid's friends', homemade Halloween costumes that aren't perfect, not knowing exactly what to say to make things OK, preparing meals, helping at school, being there and available to every need at all times are some of the things their brains obsess over. Comments and questions from us can feel like severe judgment.

"I'm not a good enough WIFE." The house is disorganized and messy. If they don't fulfill their husbands sexual desires, he will go elsewhere. They may see themselves as exceedingly needy, overly emotional or too (fill in the blank) to be married. Or they may feel as though they don't live up to your mother.

"I'm not beautiful enough." This one should come as no surprise. She feels like you fell in love with the way she looked when you met. When her looks or weight change, you will want to move on to someone else.

That story is deeply ingrained in many and may even cause them to dismiss compliments from their husbands to the contrary. That's why husbands even glancing at an attractive woman can set off fireworks. It's a subtle reinforcement in their minds that there is something better out there for their husband to chase.

"My opinion isn't valuable." Those who struggle with this one don't view themselves as smart as other people. It could stem from many sources, such as being shut down by people, particularly in childhood. They may have had controlling people around them in their life. Be mindful of cutting them off mid-sentence. Ask for their opinion and hear them out fully.

2. Worthiness of Love

Much of the insecurity I think is born out of this place. Many unfortunately think they are unworthy of love. They don't feel OK with who they are and live with the belief that when their husbands really come to know who they are, they won't want to be with them. This one creates an incredible amount of pain and brings with it a powerful defense mechanism. They may lash out and cut their husband off first to save themselves from rejection.

If your wife is being cold and distant, before assuming the worst, look for this one. She is probably protecting herself from some hurt. Maybe even from something that happened long before you even met.

B.J. Foster is the content manager for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

NEW - Life in the Spirit is your Spirit-filled teaching guide. Encounter the Holy Spirit, hear God speak to you, and enjoy timeless teachings on love, mercy and forgiveness.LEARN MORE!

What Is the 'Normal' Amount of Sex for Married Couples? - CHARISMA

Is this an issue for you? (iStock photo)

What Is the 'Normal' Amount of Sex for Married Couples?

10/29/2015 B.J. FOSTER/FOR ALLPRODAD.COM  charisma magazine

A while back, I was having dinner with a group of friends. Most were married, but there were a handful of singles. Somehow the discussion turned to the frequency of married sex.

The conversation was driven by the singles—ones that longed to eventually be married—who were curious. How many times a week? How many times a month? They had heard of married couples not having sex and couldn't imagine it. In fact, they couldn't imagine anything less than once a day.

Every married person laughed. The questions continued. I knew what they were after. Since each married person at the table had a strong marriage, they felt like we were a good measurement for what was "normal" and perhaps "healthy."

As we all looked at one another wondering who was going to answer them, I realized we were thinking the same thing. There was hesitancy to reveal for fear that maybe other couples have sex more and are happier.

Maybe our sex life is a problem, and we should be having it more frequently. It certainly isn't as frequent as it used to be. Maybe that means our marriage is headed in a bad direction.

Finally, I decided to say what I thought was true for most marriages or, at least, what was true of ours. I was a little surprised (and relieved) at how quickly the other married people agreed with me. I think most married couples struggle with this issue. So let's ask the questions "Do we have less sex than other married couples?" and "When does it become a problem?"

Is There a Normal Amount?

No. It depends on each individual couple. There may be an average amount, but no "normal." I have seen surveys suggesting an average frequency of sex for married couples to be around a couple of times a month (once every 7-10 days). That doesn't mean that this is a number to aspire to or judge your marriage upon. What is normal and overwhelming are marriages with at least one partner who doesn't think they are doing it enough.

The key to a healthy sexual marriage is finding a frequency that works for both of you. [Tweet This] It takes a sacrificial love for one another. Investment grows desire. One partner with a low sex drive may need to initiate, even when they don't feel like it. Interestingly, having sex regularly raises the level of testosterone which increases desire.

It's like exercising. The more it's done, the higher the desire becomes to do it. On the other hand, the other partner may need to sacrifice their expectations and sexual needs. There has to be a meeting somewhere in the middle. All of this comes down to communication and to understanding. Talk and listen to one another. Seek to know each other, serve each other and love before being loved.

When Does It Become a Problem?

The problem occurs when couples resent one another and look out for themselves, rather than sacrificing. When a couple has sex once in a several month time frame, it may indicate problems below the surface. The same surveys indicated that couples having more sex were more fulfilled in their marriages; however, it is difficult to determine what leads to what.

Does having more sex alone lead to greater marriage fulfillment or is it vice versa? It's actually probably both working together. The couple willing to put the other first and invest in one another's needs before their own, physically and emotionally, will have a deeper level of satisfaction in their relationship.

Sound Off: What challenges have you faced in this area? 

Huddle up with your wife and ask, "What was the most romantic night we've ever spent together?"

© 2015 All Pro Dad. All Rights Reserved. Family First, All Pro Dad, iMOM, and Family Minute with Mark Merrill are registered trademarks. Used with permission.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

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Say Goodbye to Bride and Groom in Florida - Dr. Michael Brown, In The Line of Fire

In keeping with this social madness, the state of Florida recently changed its marriage certificates, removing the terms "bride" and "groom" and replacing them with "spouse." (Flickr)

Say Goodbye to Bride and Groom in Florida

9/28/2015 MICHAEL BROWN  charisma news

N.T. Wright is one of the most world's foremost New Testament scholars, a sober-minded man not given to extreme rhetoric. Yet when it came to the question of redefining marriage, Wright did not hold back, explaining how dangerous it is to change the fundamental meaning of words:

"When anybody—pressure groups, governments, civilizations—suddenly change the meaning of key words, you really should watch out. If you go to a German dictionary and just open at random, you may well see several German words which have a little square bracket saying 'N.S.,' meaning National Socialist or Nazi. The Nazis gave those words a certain meaning. In post-1917 Russia, there were whole categories of people who were called 'former persons,' because by the Communist diktat they had ceased to be relevant for the state, and once you call them former persons it was extremely easy to ship them off somewhere and have them killed."

He continued, "It's like a government voting that black should be white. Sorry, you can vote that if you like, you can pass it by a total majority, but it isn't actually going to change the reality."

That's why I have often said that once you redefine marriage, you render it meaningless.

It would be like saying a couple can now consist of five people, or a pair can refer to one item, or a tricycle can have two wheels.

Redefining those terms doesn't change reality, and when it comes to marriage, if you don't have the two essential components, namely a husband and a wife, you don't have marriage.

Consequently, if you change the fundamental meaning of marriage, you change the meaning of husband and wife as well.

As I pointed out last year in an article titled "I Now Pronounce You Spouse and Spouse," as England began to move toward redefining marriage, the Daily Telegraph reported, "The word 'husband' will in future be applied to women and the word 'wife' will refer to men, the Government has decided."

According to John Bingham, "Civil servants have overruled the Oxford English Dictionary and hundreds years of common usage effectively abolishing the traditional meaning of the words for spouses."

In the government's proposed guidelines, "'husband' here will include a man or a woman in a same-sex marriage, as well as a man married to a woman. In a similar way, 'wife' will include a woman married to another woman or a man married to a man."

So, a man could be a wife if married to another man (or not), while a woman could be a husband if married to another woman (or not), all of which begs the question: Why use words at all if they have utterly lost their meaning? It's like saying that up is down (or up) and down is up (or down), while north is south (or north) and south is north (or south).

In the same article, I cited the Huffington Post, which reported that "California's same-sex couples may now be pronounced spouse and spouse after Gov. Jerry Brown (D) signed a bill (last) Monday eliminating outdated 'husband and wife' references from state laws."

Not surprisingly, according to California bill AB 1951, birth certificates will have three options: "mother," "father" or simply "parent," meaning that, in the case of two lesbians, one could be designated "father," while in the case of two gay men, one could be designated "mother." (The bill would also allow for three parents to be listed on the birth certificate, since there's obviously a missing third party in the event of two men or two women "having" a baby.)

This means that we've come to a place of semantic insanity, a place where you can have male wives, female husbands, male mothers, and female fathers.

Do people really think you can just turn the world upside down without having any adverse effects?

In keeping with this social madness, the state of Florida recently changed its marriage certificates, removing the terms "bride" and "groom" and replacing them with "spouse."

This goes hand in hand with other international trends. As I pointed out in 2011, "In Ontario, Canada, as a result of the legalization of same-sex marriage, all references to terms like husband, wife and widow were removed from the law books in 2005. In Spain, birth certificates were changed from 'Father' and 'Mother' to 'Progenitor A' and 'Progenitor B.'"

But of course!

That's why principle No. 4 in my new book is: Refuse to Redefine Marriage, since, to repeat, once you redefine marriage, you render it meaningless.

The Supreme Court can give its ruling; laws can be passed; public opinion can shift and turn, but that doesn't mean we have to affirm it, participate in it or, God forbid, celebrate it.

But all is not lost. True marriage—natural marriage, marriage the way God intended it from the beginning (see Jesus' words in Matt. 19:4-6)—will endure, while radically redefined marriage will undo itself.

I was reminded of this as I watched some baby dedications at a church service on Sunday, with the proud moms and dads holding their precious little ones in their arms: There's no substitute for marriage and family the way God set it up, regardless of what Florida, California, England, Spain or Canada might say.

Michael Brown is the host of the nationally syndicated talk radio show The Line of Fire and is the president of FIRE School of Ministry. His newest book is Outlasting the Gay Revolution: Where Homosexual Activism Is Really Going and How to Turn the Tide. Connect with him on Facebook at AskDrBrown or on Twitter @drmichaellbrown.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

NEW - Life in the Spirit is your Spirit-filled teaching guide. Encounter the Holy Spirit, hear God speak to you, and enjoy timeless teachings on love, mercy and forgiveness.LEARN MORE!

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How to Win the Battle of Sexual Temptation

How do you fight the battle of sexual temptation? (iStock photo )

How to Win the Battle of Sexual Temptation

 9/24/2015 BJ FOSTER/ALLPRODAD.COM  charisma magazine

When World War I broke out, new military technologies were brought to the battlefields. Tragically, military leaders continued to use outdated strategies leading to catastrophic outcomes.

Open-field charges of enemy position may have worked in the 19th century, but in the new era of the machine gun, it was a disaster. War became more complex and new fighting techniques needed to be adopted.

Our world continues to change every day requiring us to adapt, particularly with technology. One of the biggest dangers to marriages is in the area of sexual temptation. It leads to relational issues and, too often, failed marriages.

This has been true throughout history. However, changing definitions of appropriate clothing and the emerging media-saturated culture filled with sexually charged images have made the battlefield more complex.

Recently, All Pro Dad Founder Mark Merrill spoke with Steve Arterburn, author of Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time. Mr. Arterburn has counseled numerous men and women on this issue on the front lines. He shared with us some important ways of fighting temptation that will lead to more fulfilling relationships.

Here's how to win the battle:

Building Restraint

Fighting temptation starts by building the discipline of restraint. Those who desire to resist sexual temptation must possess the ability to deny themselves instant pleasures. That ability doesn't just appear, it needs to be built. Think about it like training for a marathon. No one can run twenty-six miles without doing many smaller distance runs that lead up to it. Eventually, muscles and endurance are strengthened for the longer runs. Building up the ability to resist sexual temptation starts with practicing small denials.

Consistent small acts of discipline become habits that form strong character.

Control Your Eyes

Images you view will form a photo album or video library in your brain. The more time you spend looking at something the more those pictures become vividly clear and permanent. That library profoundly affects our feelings and attitudes, particularly about our spouses. It becomes easy to compare them to the images we house. Practice the discipline of bouncing your eyes away from things that awaken sexual desire apart from your spouse. Reserve those looks for what belongs to you—your wife. Looking solely to her to awaken those desires will increase your wife's attractiveness in your mind make it easier to connect.

Protect the Mind

There are thoughts, images, and ideas that will enter our minds. When they do, we have a decision to make. We can either continue to think about them or escort them out. The problem occurs when we get a tempting or potentially destructive thought that we nurture rather than eliminate. If there are things that enter your mind that don't belong there, practice the discipline of stopping the thought process and changing it to something else. Perhaps shift the focus again to your spouse, God, or other things that are right to think about.

Be Open and Honest

Finally, it's easy to justify something that is happening inside your head. The problem is that those attitudes never stop in the inside. They eventually find their way to the surface in attitudes of discontentment and coldness with a spouse. Even if those attitudes are ever so slight, they push couples in a direction of disconnection. First, be honest with yourself about the impact of giving in to sexual temptation.

Next, find a friend or group of guys that you can be open with about how you are doing in building these disciplines. Give them authority to hold you accountable to living a higher standard and provide them with the same encouragement. We were never meant to do this alone.

If you would like to listen to the interview of Steve Arterburn by All Pro Dad Founder Mark Merrill, click here.

BJ Foster is the Content Manager for All Pro Dad and a married father of two. For the original article, visit allprodad.com.

For a limited time, we are extending our celebration of the 40th anniversary of Charisma. As a special offer, you can get 40 issues of Charisma magazine for only $40!

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Native American Tribes Defend Traditional Marriage

CBNNews.com

Tuesday, April 07, 2015

Months before the U.S. Supreme Court rules on the issue of gay marriage, Native American tribes have taken steps to defend traditional marriage.

Eleven tribes with a total membership approaching a million people will not recognize same-sex marriages.

Just weeks after North Carolina began issuing marriage licenses to gay couples, the state's Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians updated its law to prevent gay couples from having marriage ceremonies on tribal land.

Tribes that don't recognize same-sex marriage include the Cherokee Nation in Oklahoma and the Navajo Nation.

Intimacy - Now Think On This by Steve Martin

Intimacy

- Now Think On This

by Steve Martin

“My beloved responded and said to me,

'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,

And come along.

'For behold, the winter is past,

The rain is over and gone.

'The flowers have already appeared in the land;

The time has arrived for pruning the vines,

And the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land.

'The fig tree has ripened its figs,

And the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance.

Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,

And come along!'"

Song of Songs 2:10-13 NASU)

As my bride came down the church aisle that beautiful early evening, I sang these Scriptural words to her that I had written in my song, “Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along.” Though I had intended to sing several verses, I choked up on the second one. My heart was just overwhelmed at her beauty, her movement in that flowing white laced gown, and the presence of the Lord’s Holy Spirit in that place of matrimony. The time had come for us to be joined together as man and wife.

What seemed to have been a decade long wait was about to be fulfilled in that moment, as we were acknowledging the Lord’s plans and purposes for unity. Out of our desire to share the love in our hearts, He would also bring forth a family to demonstrate His love on the earth, in preparation for the eternal love in heaven.

From that day forward, we have grown in our care and provision for each other, sharing the gifts and spiritual fruit we each have had to give. In physical, emotional and spiritual intimate moments, we have experienced a touch of what the Father, Son and Holy Spirit have shared for all eternity. Believing that through the times of trials and required persistency, our hearts have been bonded together, the intimacy becoming more real in our lives together.

Being intimate with one other is not an “overnight sensation” that one can have with another simply out of a physical act. To participate in the intent of the Father’s love for mankind, there must be that commitment to be joined together for the long haul; to stand strong when the temptation is to flee; to keep the promise that was spoken at the altar years before. Intimacy is not for those who are looking for a quick satisfaction of one’s emotional lust, but is given to committed hearts who have been and continue to be willing to sacrifice for each other, time and time again. From that solid promise to stay through sickness and health, riches or poverty, until death do we part, the intimate moments are fully experienced, fulfilling the longing in each heart to be accepted, nourished and kept in committed and submitted love.

In today’s society there is the prevailing belief that there can be emotional intimacy without having a strong commitment to one another beyond a sexual act. When the Lord says that sex outside of marriage is wrong, it is because the Creator knows that a deep soulish tie will occur, bringing hurt and lasting pain when an improper joining happens. We were not created to share this intimate act in a non-binding relationship.

The emotional and physical act also carries with it a spiritual bond that has to be kept within the protected walls of marriage. Thus doing that which was intended only within the committed relationship of sacred marriage will produce an emotional scar, keeping us from experiencing real love. It will also leave a strong imprint that will need to be healed later. Our loving Father thus has warned over and over again that sexual intimacy is for the marriage bed only.

Laws are made to protect us, not to keep us from the Lord’s goodness and favor. Abiding in His laws of love and protection will bring eternal satisfaction, keeping our hearts pure and emotions strong. Breaking His loving laws will produce destruction in our spirit, soul and body.

Intimacy between a man and a woman is a beautiful gift from God. Keeping it that way is a protection for our society and the good of all mankind.

Now think on this,

Steve Martin

Founder

Love For His People. Inc.

Love For His People, Inc. is a charitable, not-for-profit USA humanitarian organization started in 2010 to share the love of the Father in the nations.

If these messages minister to you, please consider sending a charitable gift of $5-$25 today, and maybe each month, to help us bless families we know in Israel, whom we consistently help through our humanitarian ministry. Your tax deductible contributions receive a receipt for each donation. Fed. ID #27-1633858.

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Todah rabah! (Hebrew – Thank you very much.)

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Now Think On This #169 “Intimacy” by Steve Martin 

Date: In the year of our Lord 2015 (03.29.15) Sunday at 12:30 pm in Charlotte, NC

All previous editions of Now Think On This can be found on this Blog, and on the website: Now Think On This